Month: May 2008

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Doc Bruce Banner, belted by cheap hookers

Leaving the supermarket this evening, I noticed a display of toys for the new Hulk movie. I was disappointed that they didn’t have a Tim Roth action figure, so I could dress him in a miniature leather coat like in Little Odessa.

Luckily, I noticed that they had the next best thing: Mega Clap Hulk.

That text on the bottom left reads, “PRESS BUTTON FOR THE MEGA CLAP ATTACK!”, so maybe he goes whoring around behind Betty Ross’ back in the new movie. Or maybe she becomes the Harpy and infects him with gamma-chlamydia. Or maybe Hulk gets a little Bi-Beast-curious, and catches a dose during a meth-fueled weekend. I could go on all night with these jokes, but they’re not going to get any funnier.

Anyway, I’ve heard of funky side effects from STDs, but what is going on with those veins that are trying to escape from his crotch?

To be fair, I’m sure if I had a “MEGA CLAP ATTACK!”, my expression wouldn’t be much different than this:

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Miller Bear

Bear Stearns’ sale to JP Morgan was approved by shareholders yesterday. As a buildup to the vote, the Wall Street Journal ran an epic three-part article (1, 2, 3) chronicling the sudden collapse of BS. I know most of you aren’t as interested in the machinations of business and finance as I am, but I think Kate Kelly tells a pretty amazing story, not least because it supports my thesis that Miller’s Crossing can be used to explain almost anything.

In this case, I’d like to contrast this passage from Ms. Kelly’s series of articles —

The brokerage’s sudden fall was a stark reminder of the fragility and ferocity of a financial system built to a remarkable degree on trust. Billions of dollars in securities are traded each day with nothing more than an implicit agreement that trading partners will pay up when asked. When investors became concerned that Bear Stearns wouldn’t be able to settle its trades with clients, that confidence evaporated in a flash.

— with this moment when Tom Regan confronts crime-boss Leo with the precariousness of his position after the great Danny Boy scene:

Last night made you look vulnerable. You don’t hold elected office in this town. You run it because people think you run it. Once they stop thinking it, you stop running it.

I make light of it, but it’s truly frightening, how huge a role perception plays in finance. Once the loss of confidence is even a rumor, an 85-year-old company can collapse within days.

(You could argue that BS’s collapse was actually an internal rot that took several years to manifest itself, like an elderly cancer patient who puts of going to the doctor until it’s far too late. I don’t think there’s a Miller’s Crossing analog for that, but I can go check.)

Then there’s the great passage when JPM is negotiating to buy BS. JPM originally offered $8-$12 per share, then came back with an offer of $2 per share — the final price turned out to be $10/share, down from $131.58 last October — reminding me of Tom’s negotiations on the phone with Bernie Bernbaum, the shmatte kid:

I figure a thousand bucks is reasonable. So I want two thousand.

Seriously, I think these articles are pretty important, if you’re looking for perspective on how the seize-up in credit markets is impacting, um, everything in our day-to-day. If they’re registration-required, lemme know and I can e-mail them over to you.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

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You ain’t nothing but a sight-hound?

Our experience with Rufus has been pretty awesome. Outside of his inclination to bring home every tick in Ringwood — Amy thinks it’s because they keep mistaking him for a deer — we don’t really have much to complain about. I’m still afraid to leave him on his own in the house for a day, because I think he’ll get bored and start chewing on furniture, but he doesn’t seem to mind being in his crate while I’m at the office, so that’s alright. He’s been well-behaved on walks, didn’t react when a 1-year-old trundled over and tapped him on the nose this weekend, and has only peed in the house once since his first week with us.

One oddball trait of his, though, is his need to “protect the house.” Sometimes when he’s sleeping or resting in the living room, he’ll react to the sound of car-doors closing, getting up and barking. We think he’s trying to keep us safe, but he may just be jealous of other people getting to ride in cars. Yesterday evening, he did something even stranger.

Rufus was KTFO on his bed while Amy & I were reading. He suddenly got up, sniffed, and began barking to beat the band. This time, he was so agitated that he tried climbing over me onto the loveseat. We don’t let him on the furniture, and he hasn’t tried to get onto any since his first few weeks here. But he pushed and strained to look out the big window in the living room.

He ran down the hall of the house, barking away. Neither of us had heard any noise that would have woken him up, so I decided to take him outside to show him that there was nothing going on. He ran down the stairs and waited at the door, tail wagging.

Outside, he took one sniff and led me around the side of the house. I heard some leaves and branches being stomped, and figured he’d caught wind of a deer. We get ’em all the time out here, so I was surprised that he reacted so strongly. I walked him to the edge of the woods behind our home, listened for the noise and tried to peer through the trees to see his quarry.

And that’s when I saw the bear.

It was gallumphing down the hill, not too rapidly, but he was obviously not happy about hearing Rufus’ barking earlier. For his part, Rufus didn’t make any moves to drag me into the woods, content to stand in the bear-free yard.

“Good dog?” I asked.

Back inside, Amy & I decided that, yes, this constituted “good dog” behavior. Oh, and that we’ll pay very close attention to our boy when we take him out hiking on trails, especially during bear season.

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Bottoms up

Sorry I didn’t post earlier in the day, dear readers. I was just building up my courage for the plunge into our annual Top Companies Report, where I profile the top 20 pharma companies and top 10 biopharmas. I just have to tell myself, “Come July 2, it’ll all be done.” It used to be daunting, but the past few years of awful pipeline progress have made it awfully depressing, too.

This morning, I sat down with Pfizer’s 2007 annual report to run the basic numbers on drug revenues, and realized that two of its drugs that went generic dropped a combined $3.3 billion in revenues, while one of its biggest up-and-coming products just got banned by the FAA (in pilots and air traffic controllers) because of a variety of messed up side effects. The company’s biggest seller (the top-selling drug in history) was flat for the year, now that similar drugs have gone generic. I knew they have a tough slog ahead, but the numbers make it even starker. I thought, “I really should’ve started with another company.”

As it turned out, the next 7 or 8 companies on my list weren’t in great shape, either. The European firms got a little boost on my chart because of the exchange rate (I always put in a disclaimer that shows results in local currency, because I’m all about value), but I have a feeling I’m going to be hard pressed to find good stuff to write about in their profiles.

“Come July 2, it’ll all be done.”

On the positive side, I’m just about done with my review/ramble on the Kindle! I spent a while on it yesterday, realized it was getting way too involved, and stripped it down to a pretty good size and shape. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to finish it today, because I just got a (print) book in from Amazon: Dæmonomania, by John Crowley. It’s the third book in his Ægypt series, and I cæn’t wæit to reæd it!

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What It Is: 5/26/08

What I’m reading: Lord Jim, Joseph Conrad, and vol. 1 of Cromartie High School, an incredibly funny manga.

What I’m listening to: That new Portishead album again.

What I’m watching: Kung Fu Hustle, which remains one of the most entertaining flicks of all time, and The Big Lebowski, which I need to write about.

What I’m drinking: Blue Point Brewing Co.’s Blueberry Ale (a gift from this weekend’s houseguests).

Where I’m going: Maybe out to see Iron Man today, but otherwise, nodarnwhere special this week.

What I’m happy about: Having a nice, long, relatively relaxing weekend. (“Relatively,” because Saturday involved a lot of cleaning and cooking, as we had those aforementioned houseguests. Also, I was a nervous nellie because one of the sets of guests had a 1-year-old child, and I was afraid Rufus would get overstimulated and eat the kid. Everything turned out fine.) Oh, and taking a vacation day on Tuesday, just to get a little extra time before diving into the big Top 20 Pharma and Top 10 Biopharma issue of my magazine.

What I’m sad about: Last night, Rufus appeared to have developed a case of Ringworm in Ringwood. Fortunately, we already had a vet appointment scheduled for tomorrow.

What I’m pondering: Why the Coen Brothers use voiceovers in some of their flicks and not in others. Also, how long the natives will let the new Mars probe transmit.

What I’m updating: Rufus’ status! The vet says that they’re just “mayfly” bites, nothing that requires any treatment! Wanna see all the gories? Glad to oblige!

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Working like a dog

From today’s installment of “Take your Rufus to work day”:

“So you, uh, don’t happen to have any treats in that desk drawer, do you?”