Doc Bruce Banner, belted by cheap hookers

Leaving the supermarket this evening, I noticed a display of toys for the new Hulk movie. I was disappointed that they didn’t have a Tim Roth action figure, so I could dress him in a miniature leather coat like in Little Odessa.

Luckily, I noticed that they had the next best thing: Mega Clap Hulk.

That text on the bottom left reads, “PRESS BUTTON FOR THE MEGA CLAP ATTACK!”, so maybe he goes whoring around behind Betty Ross’ back in the new movie. Or maybe she becomes the Harpy and infects him with gamma-chlamydia. Or maybe Hulk gets a little Bi-Beast-curious, and catches a dose during a meth-fueled weekend. I could go on all night with these jokes, but they’re not going to get any funnier.

Anyway, I’ve heard of funky side effects from STDs, but what is going on with those veins that are trying to escape from his crotch?

To be fair, I’m sure if I had a “MEGA CLAP ATTACK!”, my expression wouldn’t be much different than this:

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