does<\/em> turn up a few other namesakes, including a NASCAR racer and an exec at a supply chain software provider, but hey.)<\/p>\nI’m not sure what people are looking for when they do this. Optimally, the former partner<\/p>\n
a) has come into lots and lots of money and<\/p>\n
b) still thinks highly of you.<\/p>\n
But this doesn’t happen often, I bet. In my case, when I look up absent friends and comedians, it’s generally out of curiosity. A bunch of years ago, I looked up an old college buddy to discover <\/p>\n
a) he was in the Squirrel Nut Zippers’ original lineup<\/p>\n
b) he quit shortly before they had their hit single<\/p>\n
c) he died of a heroin overdose a few months before I looked him up.<\/p>\n
That was pretty freaky, but it led me back into contact with another old college buddy, which worked out okay.<\/p>\n
All of this is prelude to letting you know, dear reader, that your Virtual Memoirist has been Googled by Not Just Anybody. No, I get hits on this site all the time from people who look me up on Google and other search engines. I admit that it’s kinda befuddling, trying to figure out who’s searching for my name or site, based on the general geography of their IP address (thanks to the SiteMeter code on the page). Sometimes it’s a relative, or an old friend, or a reader of my magazine. Someone goes to a public library in Trenton, NJ and searches for “virtual memories gil roth” almost every day.<\/p>\n
But this was Not Just Anybody. No, dear reader, I was Googled by the very first girl ever to, um, google me. That’s right; this site has been discovered by the first girl I ever had sex with (my brother’s been complaining for a long time about a lack of ex-girlfriend stories on this site, but this is as good as it’s going to get, so deal).<\/p>\n
She sent me a very nice e-mail Monday morning about this discovery, and told me a little about the intervening, um, eighteen years<\/em>. Once my proto-Art School Girl of Doom, she’s now living a much more conventional life, and seemed a little embarrassed by that fact. There were a lot of other details, but she might get really pissed off if I mention any of them.<\/p>\nI tried writing her back, and realized how insane it is to try to recapitulate the second half of my life. It was tough enough when a friend I both met and fell outta touch with in 2002 recently wrote and asked me what’s gone on in the last 4 years. Writing back to her, I started to look over old posts from this site. I had trouble figuring out who was writing here sometimes (guest-bloggers excluded). It made me think about the mini- and maxi-transformations we undergo, the revolutions, the minor fall, the major lift, etc., etc., amen. Eighteen years is more than half of my life. The good half.<\/p>\n
Eventually, I composed a decent e-mail back to her, and we’ve corresponded during the week. Her life’s been tough, but she seems happy that I have my life together.<\/p>\n
One thing to note (and she said it’s okay to mention this) is that she’s been clean and sober for five years now. In and of itself, it’s not that interesting a fact. People sober up all the time. What’s interesting is that it adds to the tally of my demented single life. <\/p>\n
First girl I ever kissed: Clean & sober for 20 years<\/p>\n
First girl I ever had sex with: Clean & sober for 5 years<\/p>\n
Number of sexual partners who have gone on to do charity work for Habitats for Humanity: Three (plus another one’s father designs homes for them)<\/p>\n
Which is to say either I really knew how to pick ’em, or I really knew how to wreck ’em. Or both.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
We all know people who have Googled past girlfriends or boyfriends (“just to find out what they’re up to,” of course). Okay: we’ve all Googled past girlfriends or boyfriends. Fine. Sometimes, the former partner’s name is common enough that the search is fruitless. Other times, the person has a really distinct name, like, I don’t … <\/p>\n
Continue reading “Search terms”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1049","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-apes"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4C7K-gV","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5181,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/what-it-is-4510","url_meta":{"origin":1049,"position":0},"title":"What It Is: 4\/5\/10","author":"Gil","date":"April 5, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"What I'm reading: Indignation, by Philip Roth, and The Philosophy of Andy Warhol. I finished David Carr's The Night of the Gun last week, and enjoyed the heck out of it. What I'm listening to: The soundtrack to Moon and A Friend of a Friend. What I'm watching: Not a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Samuel R. Delany\"","block_context":{"text":"Samuel R. Delany","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/tag\/samuel-r-delany"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"http:\/\/www.assoc-amazon.com\/e\/ir?t=virtualmemories-20&l=as2&o=1&a=B0017SUZDQ","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5350,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/what-it-is-53110","url_meta":{"origin":1049,"position":1},"title":"What It Is: 5\/31\/10","author":"Gil","date":"May 31, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"What I'm reading: Comics weekend! The Search for Smilin' Ed, Low Moon, Black Blizzard, Pim & Francie, and (the opening of)\u00c2\u00a0BodyWorld! What I'm listening to: High Violet, Squeeze: Singles, 45s and Under, and Heligoland What I'm watching: Fantastic Mr. Fox and The Commitments What I'm drinking: D.H. Krahn's & Q-tonic.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adventures in Rufus and\/or Otis"","block_context":{"text":"Adventures in Rufus and\/or Otis","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/adventures-in-rufus-and-or-otis"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/rupool.jpeg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":13809,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/episode-393-betsy-bonner","url_meta":{"origin":1049,"position":2},"title":"Episode 393 – Betsy Bonner","author":"Gil","date":"August 25, 2020","format":"audio","excerpt":"Virtual Memories Show 393: Betsy Bonner With her new memoir The Book of Atlantis Black: The Search for a Sister Gone Missing (Tin House), author Betsy Bonner explores her sister's mysterious death by overdose in a Tijuana hotel. We talk about how she knew she was ready to write this\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Comic books & strips"","block_context":{"text":"Comic books & strips","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/literature\/comics"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/bonnercomp.jpg?fit=1128%2C800&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/bonnercomp.jpg?fit=1128%2C800&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/bonnercomp.jpg?fit=1128%2C800&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/bonnercomp.jpg?fit=1128%2C800&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/bonnercomp.jpg?fit=1128%2C800&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":623,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/what-goes-on-3","url_meta":{"origin":1049,"position":3},"title":"What Goes On","author":"Gil","date":"August 22, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Hey, gentlereader! Sorry to be absent for a while (except for those little goofy posts). I've been in a little bit of a writing-malaise lately, taking a mini-summer break.I've also been exercising for the first time in forever. The upside is that I'm feeling a bazillion times better, even though\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "literature"","block_context":{"text":"literature","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/literature"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1627,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/miss-thing","url_meta":{"origin":1049,"position":4},"title":"Miss Thing","author":"Gil","date":"August 12, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"I noticed in college that the more books I had in my dorm room, the fewer questions visitors would ask me about literature. So, in the never-ending quest to cover up my intellectual inadequacies, I keep lots and lots of books around. Since I get far fewer visitors at home\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "literature"","block_context":{"text":"literature","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/literature"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":17091,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/episode-608-sven-birkerts","url_meta":{"origin":1049,"position":5},"title":"Episode 608 – Sven Birkerts","author":"Gil","date":"October 15, 2024","format":"audio","excerpt":"Virtual Memories Show 608: Sven Birkerts \"What fascinates me most \u2014 what I find most exciting \u2014 when I'm writing is when I find the smallest possible thing that will open out into the biggest possible thing.\" Author & essayist Sven Birkerts returns to the show to celebrate his fantastic\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Architecture"","block_context":{"text":"Architecture","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/architecture"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/birkerts2024comp.jpg?fit=1200%2C493&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/birkerts2024comp.jpg?fit=1200%2C493&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/birkerts2024comp.jpg?fit=1200%2C493&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/birkerts2024comp.jpg?fit=1200%2C493&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/birkerts2024comp.jpg?fit=1200%2C493&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1049","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1049"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1049\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1049"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1049"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1049"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}