{"id":1245,"date":"2006-12-12T08:02:26","date_gmt":"2006-12-12T13:02:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/if-only-they-had-bizarro-king\/"},"modified":"2007-12-13T07:46:22","modified_gmt":"2007-12-13T12:46:22","slug":"if-only-they-had-bizarro-king","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/if-only-they-had-bizarro-king","title":{"rendered":"If only they had Bizarro King"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’m not a gamer. This isn’t because I think video games are beneath me, but because if I had a game console I would play obsessively and ruin my life. The only console I’ve owned was a Sega DreamCast that was a hand-me-down from my dad. I played NBA2K<\/a> on it for a while, but it wasn’t as much fun as when I used to hang out at my buddy Sang’s place and play our customized version of the New Jersey Nets: the backcourt was comprised of me and Sang, and the frontcourt featured souped up versions of Dr. J, Buck Williams and Sam Bowie.<\/p>\n

I’ve avoided the game craze for years, but a couple of recent discoveries may tip me over the edge.<\/p>\n

First, I found out that the new Superman Returns<\/a> video game includes the ability to play as Bizarro Superman<\/a>, wrecking as much of Metropolis as you can before the big blue guy shows up to stop you. As longtime readers know, I’m a huge fan of Bizarro. I’m hoping the game is successful enough to spawn a video game set on Bizarro’s home world, a square planet where everything is backwards.<\/p>\n

As if that weren’t enough, I saw a commercial this weekend for a video game based on my second favorite character: the King<\/a>.<\/p>\n

No, not Elvis; it’s that Burger King mascot, and his surreal episodes of delivering BK fare to an unsuspecting populace. I first gained respect for the King when he got into those NFL commercials, making interceptions and high-stepping it into the end zone. There was something about that eternally grinning mask, that Guy Fawkes of fast food vibe, that caught me.<\/p>\n

This game looks like it consists of trying to sneak up on people and give ’em burgers<\/a>. I can’t argue with that, although I do wanna see him get added to the next edition of Madden<\/a>.<\/p>\n

So I ask you: Bizarro Superman and<\/em> the King? Can a man resist?<\/p>\n

Fortunately, they’re only on Xbox, and I don’t wanna give Gates, Ballmer, et al. my money . . .<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’m not a gamer. This isn’t because I think video games are beneath me, but because if I had a game console I would play obsessively and ruin my life. The only console I’ve owned was a Sega DreamCast that was a hand-me-down from my dad. I played NBA2K on it for a while, but … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “If only they had Bizarro King”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1245","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-comics"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4C7K-k5","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3120,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/lost-in-the-supermarket-milk-of-the-bizarros","url_meta":{"origin":1245,"position":0},"title":"Lost in the Supermarket: Milk of the Bizarros!","author":"Gil","date":"December 23, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Bizarro Superman #1 say, \"Drink KLIM! If you am know what's not good for you!\" See the whole Lost in the Supermarket series","rel":"","context":"In "Lost in the Supermarket"","block_context":{"text":"Lost in the Supermarket","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/lost-in-the-supermarket"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2936,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/unrequired-reading-nov-21-2008","url_meta":{"origin":1245,"position":1},"title":"Unrequired Reading: Nov. 21, 2008","author":"Gil","date":"November 21, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"I took yesterday off to recover from my biz-trip to Atlanta. When I got back to my home computer, I discovered a mere 1,600 items in my RSS feed. So here's a new set of links, all freshly pressed for you! Just click more! Huxtable! Lopate! It's on! * *\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Architecture"","block_context":{"text":"Architecture","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/architecture"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5523,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/you-sir-are-bad-ass-bizarro-db-cooper-edition","url_meta":{"origin":1245,"position":2},"title":"You, Sir, Are Bad-Ass: Bizarro DB Cooper Edition","author":"Gil","date":"August 9, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Steven Slater, a steward on a JetBlue flight, got into an argument with a passenger after landing and then did something I'd have paid good money to see: got on the PA system and cursed out all the passengers, then popped the exit door, set off the emergency slide, rode\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "You Sir Are Bad-Ass"","block_context":{"text":"You Sir Are Bad-Ass","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/you-sir-are-bad-ass"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3967,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/no-news","url_meta":{"origin":1245,"position":3},"title":"No news","author":"Gil","date":"May 24, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Just a quiet day of trying to keep Ru from licking his wounds, ripping his sutures, or otherwise stunting his recovery. Here's our boy as the Bizarro version of Ace the Bat-Hound: And a sign that he's feeling a little better: the new yoga position of Wounded Cockroach! Thanks for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adventures in Rufus and\/or Otis"","block_context":{"text":"Adventures in Rufus and\/or Otis","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/adventures-in-rufus-and-or-otis"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3589\/3560679363_5263a0fb83.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":835,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/from-buttman-to-superman","url_meta":{"origin":1245,"position":4},"title":"From Buttman to Superman","author":"Gil","date":"February 8, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"VM contributor and all-around good guy Tom Spurgeon recently posted a neat review of a Superman comic on his comicsreporter.com site. I don't read much in the superhero genre anymore, but I've been a comics reader since I was a little kid. I'll flip through issues on the newsstand, trying\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1564,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/im-not-psychotic-but-i-play-a-psychotic-on-xbox","url_meta":{"origin":1245,"position":5},"title":"I’m not psychotic, but I play a psychotic on Xbox","author":"Gil","date":"June 23, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"When I used to play video games, I never got into survival horror or first person shooters. I was much more interested in turn-based strategy games on the computer (think Civ) and whatever the best NBA game was on a console. I also spent a bunch of time with my\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1245","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1245"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1245\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1245"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1245"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1245"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}