{"id":1276,"date":"2007-01-04T13:41:46","date_gmt":"2007-01-04T18:41:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/shock-the-monkey-with-caffeine\/"},"modified":"2007-01-06T09:49:12","modified_gmt":"2007-01-06T14:49:12","slug":"shock-the-monkey-with-caffeine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/shock-the-monkey-with-caffeine","title":{"rendered":"Shock the Monkey (with caffeine)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A few months ago, I wrote about <a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/its-the-end-of-the-world-and-all-of-western-civilization\/\">a strange moment in a Dunkin Donuts<\/a> on my morning commute. Today, I pulled in to another nearby DD on my way back from lunch, and a woman driving a Jaguar walked in ahead of me. She was wearing jeans, sneakers, and a sweater, with a plaid flannel shawl.<\/p>\n<p>I stood behind her on line, and noticed that she had some sorta loose collar on her neck. It was red, with little silver buttons. A red, heart-shaped &#8220;dog tag&#8221; was hanging from it, on the back of her neck. It read<\/p>\n<p>PET MONKEY<br \/>\nBILL IS<br \/>\nMY MASTER<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m just gonna hide under my desk for a while.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A few months ago, I wrote about a strange moment in a Dunkin Donuts on my morning commute. Today, I pulled in to another nearby DD on my way back from lunch, and a woman driving a Jaguar walked in ahead of me. She was wearing jeans, sneakers, and a sweater, with a plaid flannel &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/shock-the-monkey-with-caffeine\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;Shock the Monkey (with caffeine)&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[15,31,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-apes","category-overheard-in-dunkin-donuts","category-suburbs"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4C7K-kA","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5732,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/things-you-cant-unsee","url_meta":{"origin":1276,"position":0},"title":"Things You Can&#8217;t Unsee","author":"Gil","date":"November 9, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"\"With a hint of maple*\"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Overheard in Dunkin Donuts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Overheard in Dunkin Donuts","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/overheard-in-dunkin-donuts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1279,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/answer-me-these-questions-three","url_meta":{"origin":1276,"position":1},"title":"Answer me these questions three","author":"Gil","date":"January 6, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"On the way to the airport yesterday morning, we stopped at a Dunkin Donuts in Boonton. It's the third or fourth time I've gone there on the way to Newark, but I'm going to have to quit that practice. As it turns out, their coffee is so impossibly hot that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Overheard in Dunkin Donuts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Overheard in Dunkin Donuts","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/overheard-in-dunkin-donuts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":6219,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/airball","url_meta":{"origin":1276,"position":2},"title":"Airball","author":"Gil","date":"December 28, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"I haven't posted a new Overheard in Dunkin' Donuts in a long-ass time. Is it because I make coffee at home \/ in the office rather than go out to get it? Is it because people are more boring than they were in the old days? Who knows? All I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Overheard in Dunkin Donuts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Overheard in Dunkin Donuts","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/overheard-in-dunkin-donuts"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1028,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/its-the-end-of-the-world-and-all-of-western-civilization","url_meta":{"origin":1276,"position":3},"title":"It&#8217;s the end of the world and all of western civilization","author":"Gil","date":"July 13, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"I got my breakfast (black coffee and a blueberry muffin) at a truck-stop Dunkin Donuts on the way to my office. As I was walking out, I passed a woman. She was in her early 40s, not quite haggardly thin, with dark hair and a face pockmarked like Sadie Burke.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;California&quot;","block_context":{"text":"California","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/travel\/california"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1133,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/unrequired-reading-4","url_meta":{"origin":1276,"position":4},"title":"Unrequired Reading","author":"Gil","date":"October 6, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"I promised some Unrequired Reading for a Friday morning, so here it is: Jane Galt has a sad post about the economic destruction of Zimbabwae. There are some \"interesting\" comments after the post. * * * Via Bookslut, a collection of covers from old Penguin and Pelican books. * *\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;basketball&quot;","block_context":{"text":"basketball","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/sports\/basketball"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3854,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/not-the-onion","url_meta":{"origin":1276,"position":5},"title":"Not The Onion","author":"Gil","date":"April 28, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Submitted without comment.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Overheard in Dunkin Donuts&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Overheard in Dunkin Donuts","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/overheard-in-dunkin-donuts"},"img":{"alt_text":"copsdd","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/copsdd.png?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1276","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1276"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1276\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1276"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1276"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1276"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}