{"id":1641,"date":"2007-08-26T09:22:48","date_gmt":"2007-08-26T14:22:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/will-rogaine-put-cal-ripken-on-its-packaging\/"},"modified":"2007-08-26T09:29:42","modified_gmt":"2007-08-26T14:29:42","slug":"will-rogaine-put-cal-ripken-on-its-packaging","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/will-rogaine-put-cal-ripken-on-its-packaging","title":{"rendered":"Will Rogaine put Cal Ripken on its packaging?"},"content":{"rendered":"

When a theme crops up for the third time on this blog, it’s time for me to create a new category for it. In that spirit, I now offer up “Adventures in Wheaties,<\/a>” which is a perfect compliment to my “Adventures in Gin<\/a>” category. I’ll use this category to chronicle my love\/hate relationship with America’s favorite breakfast cereal.<\/p>\n

So what could possibly have driven me to write about Wheaties yet again? After all, I’ve already discussed my A-Rod boycott and my aversion to buying a WNBA-branded box of the stuff. Now I’m convinced that the boys at General Mills are just messing with me.<\/p>\n

After all, how do you follow up this box:<\/p>\n

\"Skinny<\/p>\n

with this one?<\/p>\n

\"Fat<\/p>\n

With all due respect to Tony Gwynn, a class act and a legendary ballplayer, I don’t think Wheaties is doing itself any favors when it displays one of the guys whom people cite when they make their “baseball players aren’t athletes like football and basketball players” argument. I understand the Hall of Fame reasoning in putting him on the box, and it’s not like they’re putting Sidney Ponson<\/a> on, too, but it’s still not exactly hyping a fit lifestyle.<\/p>\n

In the writeup about him on the back of the box, we find that Gwynn<\/p>\n

was truly a thinking man’s ballplayer, a perfect blend of art and science. Known best for his artistry with a bat, he also pioneered the extensive use of videotape analysis studying his own game relentlessly, never resting on his success. His work ethic was legendary as he spent countless hours refining his stroke in the batting cage and at the hitting tee.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The writeup goes on to mention that a Wheaties breakfast “can help jumpstart metabolism.” Note that this doesn’t say, “will<\/em> help jumpstart metabolism,” considering it’s juxtaposed with another picture that doesn’t even employ the slimming effects of a pinstripe uniform.<\/p>\n

If I was Hunter Kemper, I’d give up and start eating Krispy Kremes.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When a theme crops up for the third time on this blog, it’s time for me to create a new category for it. In that spirit, I now offer up “Adventures in Wheaties,” which is a perfect compliment to my “Adventures in Gin” category. I’ll use this category to chronicle my love\/hate relationship with America’s … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Will Rogaine put Cal Ripken on its packaging?”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[55,32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1641","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-adventures-in-wheaties","category-sports"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4C7K-qt","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1274,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/cereal-killer","url_meta":{"origin":1641,"position":0},"title":"Cereal Killer","author":"Gil","date":"January 4, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Back in November, I wrote about how I've boycotted the large-sized box of Wheaties at our local supermarkets because Alex Rodriguez is the featured athlete. At least I could get by with the 12-oz. box, since I had got no beef with Steve Nash. It just got worse. I hit\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adventures in Wheaties"","block_context":{"text":"Adventures in Wheaties","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/adventures-in-wheaties"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1211,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/breakfast-of-regular-season-champions","url_meta":{"origin":1641,"position":1},"title":"Breakfast of Regular Season Champions","author":"Gil","date":"November 17, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm a man of routines. Once I hit upon a good way to do things, I stick with it. When I was on Atkins, it was no problem for me to consume 3 scrambled eggs, a spicy Thai chicken sausage, a banana, water and black coffee, every single morning. Every\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adventures in Wheaties"","block_context":{"text":"Adventures in Wheaties","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/adventures-in-wheaties"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4438,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/what-it-is-9709","url_meta":{"origin":1641,"position":2},"title":"What It Is: 9\/7\/09","author":"Gil","date":"September 7, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"What I'm reading: I left off on Moby Dick for a little while. I picked up Tom Stoppard's play Arcadia, which I'd meant to write about during the summer. That was derailed by Rufus' ordeal, so I'm hoping to get back to it this fall. I also read R. Sikoryak's\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"Gilbert Gottfried\"","block_context":{"text":"Gilbert Gottfried","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/tag\/gilbert-gottfried"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"http:\/\/www.assoc-amazon.com\/e\/ir?t=virtualmemories-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0199535728","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3038,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/lost-in-the-supermarket-the-flavor-of-night","url_meta":{"origin":1641,"position":3},"title":"Lost in the Supermarket: The Flavor of Night","author":"Gil","date":"December 9, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"This series of posts about adventures in my local supermarkets began with a single product. This is that product: I suppose the indigo packaging, set off against the sky blue of the other toothpastes, was enough to catch my eye. Who puts toothpaste in a dark box? Wouldn't that be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Lost in the Supermarket"","block_context":{"text":"Lost in the Supermarket","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/lost-in-the-supermarket"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3025\/3095494914_1db31a75f4.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":1210,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/money-gets-flushed-away","url_meta":{"origin":1641,"position":4},"title":"Money gets Flushed Away","author":"Gil","date":"November 16, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"I was reading the Wall Street Journal this morning and saw a piece on how DreamWorks Animation will be writing down its costs on Flushed Away in the 4Q because of its poor box office. ($ only, so no link for you) The film, which chronicles the adventures of a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Big Business"","block_context":{"text":"Big Business","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/big-business"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1666,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/adventures-in-shopping","url_meta":{"origin":1641,"position":5},"title":"Adventures in Shopping","author":"Gil","date":"September 15, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Every few months, Amy & I drive up to a big-ol' outdoor outlet mall in Harriman, NY. She's a more serious shopper than I am, but that doesn't mean I'm not capable of hunting down some bargains. For example, here's one I found at the Williams-Sonoma outlet: Over at the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"Whatta bargain!","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/images\/bargain.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1641","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1641"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1641\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1641"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1641"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1641"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}