{"id":1699,"date":"2007-10-18T15:23:54","date_gmt":"2007-10-18T20:23:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/then-the-hostesss-dog-attacked-me-so-i-had-to-stab-it\/"},"modified":"2007-10-18T15:34:41","modified_gmt":"2007-10-18T20:34:41","slug":"then-the-hostesss-dog-attacked-me-so-i-had-to-stab-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/then-the-hostesss-dog-attacked-me-so-i-had-to-stab-it","title":{"rendered":"“Then the hostess’s dog attacked me, so I had to stab it.”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Evidently, the role of my GP is being played by Dr. Spaceman<\/a> (“That’s spi-CHEM-in!”). While I was getting treated for a sinus infection earlier this week, my doctor looked over my file and asked, “We prescribed some Ambien<\/a> for you on your last visit. How’s that working?”<\/p>\n

I replied, “Pretty well, but sometimes it doesn’t do a thing, so I lie there unable to sleep and pissed off at Sanofi-Aventis<\/a>.”<\/p>\n

“Well, have you tried taking two at a time?” he asked.<\/p>\n

“What? NO!” I replied.<\/p>\n

He proceeded to tell me that taking two of the 6.25mg doses was “just like” taking one of the higher dose, 12.5mg.<\/p>\n

Later, when he asked about drug allergies, I expected him to say, “What can you do? Medicine’s not a science<\/a>!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Evidently, the role of my GP is being played by Dr. Spaceman (“That’s spi-CHEM-in!”). While I was getting treated for a sinus infection earlier this week, my doctor looked over my file and asked, “We prescribed some Ambien for you on your last visit. How’s that working?” I replied, “Pretty well, but sometimes it doesn’t … <\/p>\n

Continue reading ““Then the hostess’s dog attacked me, so I had to stab it.””<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[27,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-big-business","category-pharmaceuticals"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4C7K-rp","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1562,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/just-one-of-the-chebabs","url_meta":{"origin":1699,"position":0},"title":"Just one of the Chebabs","author":"Gil","date":"June 21, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Back in 1995, the movie Boys filmed several scenes on the campus of St. John's College, where I was attending grad school. I was sitting out in the quad between classes one evening with my friends. The crew was getting ready to shoot an outdoor scene with Winona Ryder. My\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Politics (explicit)"","block_context":{"text":"Politics (explicit)","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/politics-explicit"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":517,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/im-pretty-sure-his-wooden-teeth-wouldve-rotted","url_meta":{"origin":1699,"position":1},"title":"I’m pretty sure his wooden teeth would’ve rotted","author":"Gil","date":"March 3, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Vegas, as long-time readers know, is among my favorite places in the U.S., basically because it doesn't even pretend to be real.Over on Drudge this morning, there was a link to this story about LV's mayor speaking to a room of 4th graders:Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman told a group\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2476,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/market-timing","url_meta":{"origin":1699,"position":2},"title":"Market timing","author":"Gil","date":"September 16, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Two anecdotes that help me make sense (of humor) out of the Lehman Bros. bankruptcy, the Merrill Lynch buyout, the Fannie\/Freddie seizure, Bear Stearns debacle and all else: 1. Around 1991, I walked into a local-ish comic store, as is my wont. As I was checking out, I noticed that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Big Business"","block_context":{"text":"Big Business","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/big-business"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/a-brush-with-fame","url_meta":{"origin":1699,"position":3},"title":"A Brush With Fame","author":"Gil","date":"February 23, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Saturday was one BLEARY night in NYC, off gallivanting with my high school buddy Adam. Got back to his apartment around 3:45am, but not before stopping at a \"street meat\" food cart a block from his midtown apartment. We met up with Debbie, another high school friend, who was, Adam\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "literature"","block_context":{"text":"literature","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/literature"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1489,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/backdating-option","url_meta":{"origin":1699,"position":4},"title":"Backdating Option","author":"Gil","date":"May 3, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"I hit a nearby Apple Store after work yesterday to pick up a pair of iPod Nanos. I'm using them as giveaway incentives for a couple of surveys we run at my magazine. While I was at the counter, a strange transaction took place nearby. I had missed the early\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Big Business"","block_context":{"text":"Big Business","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/big-business"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1087,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/lucky","url_meta":{"origin":1699,"position":5},"title":"Lucky!","author":"Gil","date":"August 20, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Thursday night, Amy & I watched Soapdish, which she hadn't seen before. She enjoyed the heck out of it, but marveled over how much I liked the movie. I'd seen it a few years ago after a friend of mine told me, \"It's one of the only movies he's in\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1699","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1699"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1699\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1699"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1699"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1699"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}