{"id":1699,"date":"2007-10-18T15:23:54","date_gmt":"2007-10-18T20:23:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/then-the-hostesss-dog-attacked-me-so-i-had-to-stab-it\/"},"modified":"2007-10-18T15:34:41","modified_gmt":"2007-10-18T20:34:41","slug":"then-the-hostesss-dog-attacked-me-so-i-had-to-stab-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/then-the-hostesss-dog-attacked-me-so-i-had-to-stab-it","title":{"rendered":"“Then the hostess’s dog attacked me, so I had to stab it.”"},"content":{"rendered":"

Evidently, the role of my GP is being played by Dr. Spaceman<\/a> (“That’s spi-CHEM-in!”). While I was getting treated for a sinus infection earlier this week, my doctor looked over my file and asked, “We prescribed some Ambien<\/a> for you on your last visit. How’s that working?”<\/p>\n

I replied, “Pretty well, but sometimes it doesn’t do a thing, so I lie there unable to sleep and pissed off at Sanofi-Aventis<\/a>.”<\/p>\n

“Well, have you tried taking two at a time?” he asked.<\/p>\n

“What? NO!” I replied.<\/p>\n

He proceeded to tell me that taking two of the 6.25mg doses was “just like” taking one of the higher dose, 12.5mg.<\/p>\n

Later, when he asked about drug allergies, I expected him to say, “What can you do? Medicine’s not a science<\/a>!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Evidently, the role of my GP is being played by Dr. Spaceman (“That’s spi-CHEM-in!”). While I was getting treated for a sinus infection earlier this week, my doctor looked over my file and asked, “We prescribed some Ambien for you on your last visit. How’s that working?” I replied, “Pretty well, but sometimes it doesn’t … <\/p>\n

Continue reading ““Then the hostess’s dog attacked me, so I had to stab it.””<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[27,12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1699","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-big-business","category-pharmaceuticals"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4C7K-rp","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1562,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/just-one-of-the-chebabs","url_meta":{"origin":1699,"position":0},"title":"Just one of the Chebabs","author":"Gil","date":"June 21, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Back in 1995, the movie Boys filmed several scenes on the campus of St. John's College, where I was attending grad school. I was sitting out in the quad between classes one evening with my friends. The crew was getting ready to shoot an outdoor scene with Winona Ryder. My\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Politics (explicit)"","block_context":{"text":"Politics (explicit)","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/politics-explicit"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":517,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/im-pretty-sure-his-wooden-teeth-wouldve-rotted","url_meta":{"origin":1699,"position":1},"title":"I’m pretty sure his wooden teeth would’ve rotted","author":"Gil","date":"March 3, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Vegas, as long-time readers know, is among my favorite places in the U.S., basically because it doesn't even pretend to be real.Over on Drudge this morning, there was a link to this story about LV's mayor speaking to a room of 4th graders:Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman told a group\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2476,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/market-timing","url_meta":{"origin":1699,"position":2},"title":"Market timing","author":"Gil","date":"September 16, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Two anecdotes that help me make sense (of humor) out of the Lehman Bros. bankruptcy, the Merrill Lynch buyout, the Fannie\/Freddie seizure, Bear Stearns debacle and all else: 1. Around 1991, I walked into a local-ish comic store, as is my wont. As I was checking out, I noticed that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Big Business"","block_context":{"text":"Big Business","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/big-business"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1489,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/backdating-option","url_meta":{"origin":1699,"position":3},"title":"Backdating Option","author":"Gil","date":"May 3, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"I hit a nearby Apple Store after work yesterday to pick up a pair of iPod Nanos. I'm using them as giveaway incentives for a couple of surveys we run at my magazine. While I was at the counter, a strange transaction took place nearby. I had missed the early\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Big Business"","block_context":{"text":"Big Business","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/big-business"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1087,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/lucky","url_meta":{"origin":1699,"position":4},"title":"Lucky!","author":"Gil","date":"August 20, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Thursday night, Amy & I watched Soapdish, which she hadn't seen before. She enjoyed the heck out of it, but marveled over how much I liked the movie. I'd seen it a few years ago after a friend of mine told me, \"It's one of the only movies he's in\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":30,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/tough-crowd","url_meta":{"origin":1699,"position":5},"title":"Tough Crowd","author":"Gil","date":"July 31, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"I stepped into the elevator at the college library one afternoon, around 10 or 11 years ago. Another student walked in behind me. As the doors closed, he said, \"You're the literature guy, right?\"\"That's me. Literature's my middle name,\" I responded. I held out my hand and said, \"The Guy:\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1699","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1699"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1699\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1699"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1699"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1699"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}