{"id":1993,"date":"2008-04-08T07:41:56","date_gmt":"2008-04-08T11:41:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/now-with-melatonin\/"},"modified":"2008-04-08T07:42:44","modified_gmt":"2008-04-08T11:42:44","slug":"now-with-melatonin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/now-with-melatonin","title":{"rendered":"Now with melatonin!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Gatorade has decided to launch a new brand of its hydrationalizer, Gatorade Tiger<\/a>. Formulated for, um, power-lifting golfers with hot Swedish wives, it’s available in 3 flavors: Red Drive, Cool Fusion and Quiet Storm. But after seeing this banner ad —<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

— I’m convinced that Warm Milk is probably “WHAT’S NEXT?” for Tiger. He looks like he hasn’t slept in a month.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Too much embodiment of mental strength, physical power and technical perfection. Must rest . . . <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Gatorade has decided to launch a new brand of its hydrationalizer, Gatorade Tiger. Formulated for, um, power-lifting golfers with hot Swedish wives, it’s available in 3 flavors: Red Drive, Cool Fusion and Quiet Storm. But after seeing this banner ad — — I’m convinced that Warm Milk is probably “WHAT’S NEXT?” for Tiger. He looks … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Now with melatonin!”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[32],"tags":[70,69],"class_list":["post-1993","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sports","tag-gatorade","tag-tiger-woods"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4C7K-w9","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1002,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/hey-big-ed","url_meta":{"origin":1993,"position":0},"title":"Hey, Big Ed!","author":"Gil","date":"June 24, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"The Official VM Wife thinks Gatorade missed a major chance in its Big Head TV campaign when they didn't use Giada De Laurentiis Think of how much money they could have saved on special effects!","rel":"","context":"With 10 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 10 comments","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/hey-big-ed#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1335,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/four-more-years","url_meta":{"origin":1993,"position":1},"title":"Four More Years?","author":"Gil","date":"February 6, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Happy anniversary, dear readers! Today marks four years since I started writing Virtual Memories, and I can't believe some of you are still coming back after all this time! But seriously, thanks for checking in on this site, all of you regulars. And to all you people who keep getting\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adventures in Gin"","block_context":{"text":"Adventures in Gin","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/adventures-in-gin"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1559,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/no-tiger-lily-left-behind","url_meta":{"origin":1993,"position":2},"title":"No Tiger Lily Left Behind","author":"Gil","date":"June 20, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"The deer have wiped out most of my tiger lilies, but a few managed to escape their predations. A pair of 'em blossomed this morning, after last night's thunderstorm:","rel":"","context":"In "suburbs"","block_context":{"text":"suburbs","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/suburbs"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2981,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/tiger-craw","url_meta":{"origin":1993,"position":3},"title":"Tiger Craw!","author":"Gil","date":"November 29, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"We met up with Amy's pals Ken & Denise and their kids, Kala & Quinn, down in Princeton today. I'd write more about it, but I'm awfully tired at present, so here's a set of pix from our meander on campus. And here are the Guardian Gophers of campus!","rel":"","context":"In \"Princeton\"","block_context":{"text":"Princeton","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/tag\/princeton"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3008\/3069743246_f6b461dcd3.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4728,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/unrequired-reading-dec-11-2009","url_meta":{"origin":1993,"position":4},"title":"Unrequired Reading: Dec. 11, 2009","author":"Gil","date":"December 11, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"It's been a busy, hectic work-week, so bleary-eyed links await you, dear readers! Just click \"more\"! Good thing there's coffee! * * * Another Pevear & Volokhonsky interview! I'm so bizarrely easy to please! (I just wish more of their translations were available on the Kindle.) * * * I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "literature"","block_context":{"text":"literature","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/literature"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":531,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/good-thing-it-wasnt-final-four-weekend","url_meta":{"origin":1993,"position":5},"title":"Good thing it wasn’t Final Four weekend . . .","author":"Gil","date":"April 13, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"On Sunday, Tiger Woods hit one of the greatest shots I've ever seen, on the 16th hole to help him win his 4th Masters jacket at Augusta.On Tuesday, Stephen Stanko got picked up by the cops. He was on the run from rape and double-murder charges in South Carolina. Where'd\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1993","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1993"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1993\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1993"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1993"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1993"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}