{"id":2081,"date":"2008-05-31T22:52:16","date_gmt":"2008-06-01T02:52:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/?p=2081"},"modified":"2008-05-31T22:54:45","modified_gmt":"2008-06-01T02:54:45","slug":"doc-bruce-banner-belted-by-cheap-hookers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/doc-bruce-banner-belted-by-cheap-hookers","title":{"rendered":"Doc Bruce Banner, belted by cheap hookers"},"content":{"rendered":"

Leaving the supermarket this evening, I noticed a display of toys for the new Hulk<\/a> movie. I was disappointed that they didn’t have a Tim Roth action figure, so I could dress him in a miniature leather coat like in Little Odessa<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Luckily, I noticed that they had the next best thing: Mega Clap Hulk<\/a>\"\".<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

That text on the bottom left reads, “PRESS BUTTON FOR THE MEGA CLAP ATTACK!”, so maybe he goes whoring around behind Betty Ross’ back in the new movie. Or maybe she becomes the Harpy<\/a> and infects him with gamma-chlamydia. Or maybe Hulk gets a little Bi-Beast-curious<\/a>, and catches a dose during a meth-fueled weekend. I could go on all night with these jokes, but they’re not going to get any funnier.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I’ve heard of funky side effects from STDs, but what is going on with those veins that are trying to escape from his crotch?<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

To be fair, I’m sure if I had a “MEGA CLAP ATTACK!”, my expression wouldn’t be much different than this:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Leaving the supermarket this evening, I noticed a display of toys for the new Hulk movie. I was disappointed that they didn’t have a Tim Roth action figure, so I could dress him in a miniature leather coat like in Little Odessa. Luckily, I noticed that they had the next best thing: Mega Clap Hulk. … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Doc Bruce Banner, belted by cheap hookers”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[26],"tags":[177,178],"class_list":["post-2081","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-comics","tag-hulk","tag-tim-roth"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4C7K-xz","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":598,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/one-more-thing-2","url_meta":{"origin":2081,"position":0},"title":"One more thing","author":"Gil","date":"July 15, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"My buddy Tom posted his version of yesterday's events at the Con. I forgot to mention, while we were at the CBLDF booth yesterday, we looked over at the XBox booth next door, which had a number of comics-related games that people could play.Charles Brownstein, the CBLDF director, was looking\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2147,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/unrequired-reading-july-25-2008","url_meta":{"origin":2081,"position":1},"title":"Unrequired Reading: July 25, 2008","author":"Gil","date":"July 25, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"That's the sound of the men, working on the link gang. . . I wasn't sure if this qualifies for another installment of F*** You, You Whining F***, because I think she's actually right. Still, a 20-year-old complaining that \"I'm leaving the NYC literary scene for Paris\" borders on Whining\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "literature"","block_context":{"text":"literature","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/literature"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5594,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/who-am-i","url_meta":{"origin":2081,"position":2},"title":"Who am I?","author":"Gil","date":"September 16, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm the guy who had four magazines waiting in his mailbox when he got home from work today \u00e2\u20ac\u201d Monocle, Sports Illustrated, The Paris Review, and Esquire. I'm the guy who looked at the cover of the latter, muttered, \"Lousy better-looking-than-everyone Javier Bardem,\" then noticed the words, \"PHILIP ROTH PG.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "literature"","block_context":{"text":"literature","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/literature"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2683,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/lost-in-the-supermarket-1","url_meta":{"origin":2081,"position":3},"title":"Lost in the Supermarket 1","author":"Gil","date":"October 14, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"I've decided that my local supermarkets offer so many strange that it's time to launch a new weekly feature: Lost in the Supermarket! Every Tuesday morning, you can expect to find another of my more oddball finds. Our inaugural product: Hulk Cakes: 'Cause hulks gotta eat too! See the whole\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Lost in the Supermarket"","block_context":{"text":"Lost in the Supermarket","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/lost-in-the-supermarket"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3293\/2941547442_10bc6a8d54.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":7839,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/roth-on-roth-action","url_meta":{"origin":2081,"position":4},"title":"Roth on Roth action","author":"Gil","date":"April 17, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Looks like PBS has the entire Philip Roth ep. of its American Masters series free online! He remains #1 on my dream-list of guests for the podcast. Yesterday's interview, Lynne Sharon Schwartz, told me that she's acquaintances with him, but I doubt that'll be enough to get my foot in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "literature"","block_context":{"text":"literature","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/literature"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":174,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/roth-rules","url_meta":{"origin":2081,"position":5},"title":"Roth Rules!","author":"Gil","date":"March 18, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Just for name recognition, I'd head to this Dieter Roth exhibition, but it's at the MoMA in Queens, and I'll need to get my passport renewed before I can travel that far.","rel":"","context":"In "travel"","block_context":{"text":"travel","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/travel"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2081","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2081"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2081\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2081"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2081"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2081"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}