{"id":224,"date":"2004-05-24T21:44:24","date_gmt":"2004-05-25T01:44:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vmalt\/?p=224"},"modified":"2006-01-02T09:42:48","modified_gmt":"2006-01-02T14:42:48","slug":"moon-pies-and-red-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/moon-pies-and-red-man","title":{"rendered":"Moon Pies and Red Man"},"content":{"rendered":"

For your enjoyment (even though this has probably circulated all over the Internet and I’m the last guy it got to), Redneck Haiku<\/strong>:<\/p>\n

BEAUTY
Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps<\/p>\n

REMORSE
A painful sadness
Can’t fit big screen TV through
Double-wide’s front door<\/p>\n

OPTIONS
Unemployment’s out.
Hey, maybe I can get on
Disability<\/p>\n

BLAZE
Distant siren screams
Dumb-ass Verne’s been playing with
Gasoline again<\/p>\n

A NEW MOON
Flashlights pierce darkness
No nightcrawlers to be found
Guess we’ll gig some frogs<\/p>\n

EXUBERANCE
Joyous, playful, bright
Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
Of old motor oil<\/p>\n

ALONE
Seeking solitude
Carl’s ex-wife Tammy files for
Restraining order<\/p>\n

DESIRE
Damn, in that tube-top
You make me almost forget
That you are my cousin<\/p>\n

HATRED
I curse the rainbow
Emblazoned upon his hood
God damn Jeff Gordon<\/p>\n

OFFERINGS
Tonight we hunger
Grandma sent grocery money
To Jimmy Swaggert<\/p>\n

DRAMA
Set the VCR
Dukes of Hazzard Marathon
At 9 O’Clock<\/p>\n

DEPRIVED
In WalMart toy aisle
Wailing boy wants wrestling doll
Mama whups his ass<\/p>\n

NO SIGNAL
White noise, buzzing static
Call Earl; satellite dish
needs new descrambler<\/p>\n

IMPOUNDED
Sixty-five dollars
And cyclone fence keeps me from
My El Camino<\/p>\n

GATHERING
In early morning mist
Mama searches Circle K for
Moon Pies and Red Man<\/p>\n

PRIDE
Grinning, he displays
The nine hundred beer cans
Filling pickup bed<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For your enjoyment (even though this has probably circulated all over the Internet and I’m the last guy it got to), Redneck Haiku: BEAUTYNaked in reposeSilvery silhouette girlsAdorn my mudflaps REMORSE A painful sadness Can’t fit big screen TV through Double-wide’s front door OPTIONSUnemployment’s out. Hey, maybe I can get on Disability BLAZEDistant siren screams … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Moon Pies and Red Man”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-224","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4C7K-3C","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/224","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=224"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/224\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=224"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=224"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=224"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}