{"id":4602,"date":"2009-10-27T12:00:11","date_gmt":"2009-10-27T16:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/?p=4602"},"modified":"2009-10-27T10:34:12","modified_gmt":"2009-10-27T14:34:12","slug":"the-l-gets-an-f","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/the-l-gets-an-f","title":{"rendered":"The L Gets An F"},"content":{"rendered":"

For the first time in years, there’ll be no Virtual Memories NBA Preview, dear readers. Neither Tom S. nor I were too enthused by the league this year and couldn’t get motivated enough to put together even crappy one-liners about the teams.<\/p>\n

I can’t recall ever seeing such clear lines between champion contenders (LA, San Antonio, Boston, Cleveland and Orland), playoff fodder, and truly horrible teams. The idea that the Atlanta Hawks are a near-lock for the 4th or 5th seed in the east speaks volumes about the league’s mediocrity.<\/p>\n

In any case, “my” team <\/a><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. gutted its roster in the off-season in order to save money,<\/li>\n
  2. is just the pivot for Bruce Ratner’s giant real estate scam in Brooklyn anyway, and<\/li>\n
  3. will be sold to a Russian gangster by year’s end, so it’s possible their new building will actually go up in Sheepshead Bay.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    The other local team<\/a> is going into its second consecutive year of deliberate awfulness as part of its plan to attract the league’s best player. Prior to this, its awfulness was accidental.<\/p>\n

    My local hoops scene is so bad that I can’t make any jokes about how Tom’s team<\/a> (he’s from Indiana), stocked with such great white nopes as Jeff Foster, Josh McRoberts, Troy Murphy, and Mike Dunleavy, Jr. on the roster, decided to use its lottery pick on . . . Tyler Hansbrough<\/a>.<\/p>\n

    So we’re going to pass on the NBA Preview this year. Go about your business.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    For the first time in years, there’ll be no Virtual Memories NBA Preview, dear readers. Neither Tom S. nor I were too enthused by the league this year and couldn’t get motivated enough to put together even crappy one-liners about the teams. I can’t recall ever seeing such clear lines between champion contenders (LA, San … <\/p>\n

    Continue reading “The L Gets An F”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2,32],"tags":[892],"class_list":["post-4602","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-basketball","category-sports","tag-tyler-hansbrough"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4C7K-1ce","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":683,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/2005-nba-preview-western-conference-teams","url_meta":{"origin":4602,"position":0},"title":"2005 NBA Preview: Western Conference Teams","author":"Gil","date":"October 24, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"by Tom SpurgeonAlthough none of its teams are likely to lose a game to an Israeli club squad anytime soon, the Western Conference of the NBA remains the junior circuit of the two because of history and mythology. A team in Sacramento not only sounds less interesting than one in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "basketball"","block_context":{"text":"basketball","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/sports\/basketball"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":627,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/cuban-sanction","url_meta":{"origin":4602,"position":1},"title":"Cuban Sanction","author":"Gil","date":"August 17, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Tom Spurgeon and I will post another NBA Preview this October, but the league has been going through upheval thanks to a weird, one-time clause in the new collective bargaining agreement, allowing teams to cut one player (they still have to pay him) to remove his salary from their luxury\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "basketball"","block_context":{"text":"basketball","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/sports\/basketball"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":684,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/nba-week","url_meta":{"origin":4602,"position":2},"title":"NBA Week","author":"Gil","date":"October 23, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Hey, dear VM readers! The NBA season kicks off next week, so it's time for the annual VM NBA preview! Official VM buddy Tom Spurgeon & I are spending this week profiling all 30 teams. (We might also get some guest-commentary from readers about their home-town teams.)Let's kick it off\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "basketball"","block_context":{"text":"basketball","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/sports\/basketball"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1825,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/changents","url_meta":{"origin":4602,"position":3},"title":"Changents","author":"Gil","date":"December 19, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"David Byrne on the economics of the music industry: Of course, not everyone is as smart as those nerdy Radiohead boys. Pete Doherty probably should not be handed the steering wheel. Andrew Wylie on the economics of the literary publishing industry: Um, it's a very small business, there's not that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Art"","block_context":{"text":"Art","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/art"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":125,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/whats-new-pussycat","url_meta":{"origin":4602,"position":4},"title":"What’s New, Pussycat?","author":"Gil","date":"January 19, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Normally, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but I've decided to reveal some aspects of this trip. First lesson: Tom Jones still Has It. Second lesson: The sports book at the Venetian has free drinks, but it's NOT good to say to yourself, \"It's only 10:30 a.m. here, but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Football"","block_context":{"text":"Football","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/sports\/football"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":704,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/sports-fans","url_meta":{"origin":4602,"position":5},"title":"Sports Fans","author":"Gil","date":"October 7, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Big rain here in northern NJ tonight, and the official VM fiancee and I found that our street was blacked out by the time we got home tonight. Fortunately, my dad and brother were willing to call my cell periodically to let me know that the Red Sox were just\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4602","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4602"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4602\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4609,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4602\/revisions\/4609"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4602"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4602"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4602"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}