{"id":473,"date":"2005-02-22T09:08:00","date_gmt":"2005-02-22T14:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vmalt\/?p=473"},"modified":"2005-12-06T07:54:19","modified_gmt":"2005-12-06T12:54:19","slug":"some-people-bring-it-on-themselves","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/some-people-bring-it-on-themselves","title":{"rendered":"Some people bring it on themselves"},"content":{"rendered":"

I read an article in the NYPost [link defunct]<\/em> detailing the story of a woman who cut off her boyfriend’s schlong:<\/p>\n

The attack occurred around midnight Saturday, after the 44-year-old man argued with alleged knife-wielder Kim Tran about their impending breakup.<\/p>\n

It seems he was already married to her aunt, the Anchorage Daily News reported, and apparently made the decision that three’s a crowd.<\/p>\n

At some point, he agreed to have sex — and allowed his soon-to-be-ex to tie his arms to a windowsill.<\/p>\n

The 35-year-old woman severed his penis with a kitchen knife, cops said.<\/p>\n

She then untied him, drove him to a hospital and was cleaning up the scene when police arrived.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Part of “cleaning up the scene” appears to have involved flushing the severed organ down the toilet<\/em>.<\/p>\n

No one’s ever accused Alaskans of being the smartest people in the world, but “I’m having an affair with you; I’m married to your aunt; I’m breaking up with you; sure, you can tie me up for one more round of sex” should put you in the stupid hall of fame.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I read an article in the NYPost [link defunct] detailing the story of a woman who cut off her boyfriend’s schlong: The attack occurred around midnight Saturday, after the 44-year-old man argued with alleged knife-wielder Kim Tran about their impending breakup. It seems he was already married to her aunt, the Anchorage Daily News reported, … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Some people bring it on themselves”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-473","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4C7K-7D","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1042,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/rebmit","url_meta":{"origin":473,"position":0},"title":"!rebmiT","author":"Gil","date":"July 21, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"During the summer, my office is only open from 8am to 1pm on Fridays. It's nice of the owner of the company to give us that early start to the weekend. Since Amy doesn't get out early from her job, I usually take the extra Friday hours to get a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "suburbs"","block_context":{"text":"suburbs","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/suburbs"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1501,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/mole-removal-humor","url_meta":{"origin":473,"position":1},"title":"Mole-removal humor","author":"Gil","date":"May 11, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Gil: The last time anyone pointed a knife on me down there, I was only 8 days old! Dermatologist: Sir, please be quiet.","rel":"","context":"With 6 comments","block_context":{"text":"With 6 comments","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/mole-removal-humor#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1582,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/unrequired-reading-july-13-2007","url_meta":{"origin":473,"position":2},"title":"Unrequired Reading: July 13, 2007","author":"Gil","date":"July 13, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Aiee! It's a Friday the 13th edition of Unrequired Reading! Hockeymask-wearing, knife-wielding links coming up! Okay. So there's only one psycho-murderer link. Still, it's a good one. * * * Oh, and Spiked! pops the torture-movie balloon. * * * Dan Drezner on the what scares him. * * *\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "basketball"","block_context":{"text":"basketball","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/sports\/basketball"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":206,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/women","url_meta":{"origin":473,"position":3},"title":"Women","author":"Gil","date":"April 12, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"David Mamet writes about writing about women. Here's a piece:But true depiction of women is, I think, rather different, and takes into account two things: the ways in which they are similar to men, and the ways in which they differ. For to say that all people are equal is\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2966,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/from-the-land-of-squeezies","url_meta":{"origin":473,"position":4},"title":"From the land of squeezies","author":"Gil","date":"November 26, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"I've been off from work this week, and I thought that'd give me time to do some writing. Since we have guests coming over for Thanksgiving, cleaning up the house is my top priority. And since I haven't cleaned the house in around a year, it's taken some time. This\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adventures in Rufus and\/or Otis"","block_context":{"text":"Adventures in Rufus and\/or Otis","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/adventures-in-rufus-and-or-otis"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3210\/3062392136_400126e2be.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4733,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/it-happened-one-night","url_meta":{"origin":473,"position":5},"title":"It Happened One Night","author":"Gil","date":"December 14, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Clearly, the dogs' resentment and rage is reaching a boiling point: (We were cleaning some stuff in the living room, and they only had one bed available. More adorable pix here.)","rel":"","context":"In "Adventures in Rufus and\/or Otis"","block_context":{"text":"Adventures in Rufus and\/or Otis","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/adventures-in-rufus-and-or-otis"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/473","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=473"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/473\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=473"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=473"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=473"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}