{"id":5042,"date":"2010-02-24T18:00:55","date_gmt":"2010-02-24T23:00:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/?p=5042"},"modified":"2010-02-24T17:08:06","modified_gmt":"2010-02-24T22:08:06","slug":"crazy-apes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/crazy-apes","title":{"rendered":"Crazy Apes"},"content":{"rendered":"

I haven’t posted an ape-attack story in a long time (ook!), so here’s the sad story of the Connecticut policeman who had to shoot Travis<\/a>, an enraged, 200-lb. chimp, to death last year. Travis, you may recall, had mauled a friend of his owner.<\/p>\n

It’s a little Reno 911!-like to visualize the chimp actually opening the police car’s driver-side door, while Officer Chiafari was in the car, but his description of the scene and the Ms. Nash’s wounds is downright horrifying, so don’t click through if you’ve got a weak stomach.<\/p>\n

Even as Officer C. struggles with PTSD and depression, I think we can all learn from his closing words:<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153I consider [Travis] a victim,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d he said. \u00e2\u20ac\u0153He should have been in the jungle where he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s supposed to be. Not in a house drinking wine and taking Xanax.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Sometimes I feel that way myself. Then I switch to gin and Ambien. Ook!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I haven’t posted an ape-attack story in a long time (ook!), so here’s the sad story of the Connecticut policeman who had to shoot Travis, an enraged, 200-lb. chimp, to death last year. Travis, you may recall, had mauled a friend of his owner. It’s a little Reno 911!-like to visualize the chimp actually opening … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Crazy Apes”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5042","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-apes"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4C7K-1jk","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3469,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/the-ape-who","url_meta":{"origin":5042,"position":0},"title":"The ape who","author":"Gil","date":"February 17, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"It's been a long time since I've had the opportunity to check the \"apes\" box in my list of categories! Today's paper has the story of Travis, a 200-lb. chimp on Xanax in Connecticut who, um, went ape after seeing his 70-year-old owner's friend wear a different hairstyle. This fashion\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Apes"","block_context":{"text":"Apes","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/apes"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1152,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/on-to-chimp-heaven","url_meta":{"origin":5042,"position":1},"title":"On to Chimp H(e)aven","author":"Gil","date":"October 12, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Evidently, a 54-year-old lab chimp named Gwen is getting to retire this week. I envision her sitting on the front porch of the sanctuary and complaining about how easy young lab chimps have it nowadays.","rel":"","context":"In "Apes"","block_context":{"text":"Apes","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/apes"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3884,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/primate-rage","url_meta":{"origin":5042,"position":2},"title":"Primate Rage","author":"Gil","date":"May 1, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Chimp attacks = page views. (But what about robot attacks?)","rel":"","context":"In "Apes"","block_context":{"text":"Apes","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/apes"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1512,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/go-aap","url_meta":{"origin":5042,"position":3},"title":"Go, aap!","author":"Gil","date":"May 19, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Been a long time since I had an ape escape story to share with you. (It's the only reason I have an Apes category on this blog.) Bokito, a 400-lb. gorilla at a zoo in Rotterdam, busted out and tried to snack on a woman's arm: \"He got over the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Apes"","block_context":{"text":"Apes","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/apes"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":325,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/gone-ape","url_meta":{"origin":5042,"position":4},"title":"Gone Ape","author":"Gil","date":"August 9, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Fay Wray died today.","rel":"","context":"In "Apes"","block_context":{"text":"Apes","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/apes"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1797,"url":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/perfume-threat-or-menace","url_meta":{"origin":5042,"position":5},"title":"“Perfume: Threat or Menace?”","author":"Gil","date":"November 26, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"My new favorite magazine.","rel":"","context":"In "Apes"","block_context":{"text":"Apes","link":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/apes"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5042","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5042"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5042\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5045,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5042\/revisions\/5045"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5042"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5042"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5042"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}