{"id":1255,"date":"2006-12-20T11:02:32","date_gmt":"2006-12-20T16:02:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/dont-mess-with-the-swiss-army\/"},"modified":"2006-12-20T11:02:32","modified_gmt":"2006-12-20T16:02:32","slug":"dont-mess-with-the-swiss-army","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/dont-mess-with-the-swiss-army","title":{"rendered":"Don’t mess with the Swiss Army"},"content":{"rendered":"

Don’t get me one of these<\/a> for the holidays or I’ll use the fish-hook disgorger on you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Don’t get me one of these for the holidays or I’ll use the fish-hook disgorger on you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1255","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4C7K-kf","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":748,"url":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/happy-holidays","url_meta":{"origin":1255,"position":0},"title":"Happy Holidays!","author":"Gil","date":"December 6, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Official VM buddy Tom S. got a jump on the holidays by sending me and Amy a passel of presents! We couldn't resist, and opened 'em up last night! It's great, having a good friend who lives far enough away that he can't rely on the USPS for timely delivery!\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":424,"url":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/present-perfect","url_meta":{"origin":1255,"position":1},"title":"Present Perfect","author":"Gil","date":"December 19, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Holiday gifts have been trickling in. Because I'm a Jew, friends send me gifts throughout December, hoping to catch Hanukkah. If they're late, they can say it's an early birthday gift (my birthday's in January).I love my friends dearly, and tend to give them gifts throughout the year, when the\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":580,"url":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/sibling-rivalry","url_meta":{"origin":1255,"position":2},"title":"Sibling Rivalry","author":"Gil","date":"June 1, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"My brother and I get along pretty well. We live somewhat different lives, but that's never been a source of conflict between us. We tend to read many of the same books, like the same sports, and survived the same set of parents.Our politics have grown apart in the last\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4658,"url":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/what-goes-on-in-my-tortured-goddamn-psyche","url_meta":{"origin":1255,"position":3},"title":"What goes on in my tortured goddamn psyche","author":"Gil","date":"November 14, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Last week, I stayed at the Westin Bonaventure in Los Angeles. When I checked in Sunday night after my 6-plus hour flight and hour-long trip from the airport, I was told, \"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have any rooms with king-sized beds available, as per your reservation.\" \"What do\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "travel"","block_context":{"text":"travel","link":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/travel"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":51,"url":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/killing-dream","url_meta":{"origin":1255,"position":4},"title":"Killing Dream","author":"Gil","date":"September 30, 2003","format":false,"excerpt":"Had one of those last night; woke me up around 3:30am. They don't happen often, but MAN do they mess my head up.","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":842,"url":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/in-a-barrel","url_meta":{"origin":1255,"position":5},"title":"In a barrel","author":"Gil","date":"February 13, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Nice post by Andrew Sullivan, ripping up Stanley Fish for \"post-modern claptrap\": Yes, Fish has read Nietzsche, hence his homage in the sentence: \"The first tenet of the liberal religion is that everything (at least in the realm of expression and ideas) is to be permitted, but nothing is to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "literature"","block_context":{"text":"literature","link":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/literature"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1255","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1255"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1255\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1255"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1255"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1255"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}