{"id":677,"date":"2005-10-27T06:47:00","date_gmt":"2005-10-27T10:47:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vmalt\/?p=677"},"modified":"2005-12-05T19:15:19","modified_gmt":"2005-12-06T00:15:19","slug":"nba-2005-central-division-preview","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/nba-2005-central-division-preview","title":{"rendered":"NBA 2005 Central Division Preview"},"content":{"rendered":"

by Gil Roth<\/a><\/p>\n

(NBA Week continues on VM! Don’t worry; it’ll be over soon!)<\/em><\/p>\n

Chicago Bulls<\/strong><\/p>\n

Surprise team last year, but easily one of the worst playoff teams since the 1999 Atlanta Hawks, which actually made the second round. Fortunately, karma realigned itself and booted this team from the playoffs early, after Chris Duhon decided to try to catch an inbounds pass with his shoulder-blades.<\/p>\n

They have some nice components, and they got rid of Eddy Curry, who was the least effective rebounder I’ve ever seen at his size.<\/p>\n

The simple fact that they now have Tim Thomas on the team means they’ll post a worse record than last year. They may as well waive him and try to get some karma-cap relief, because he will poison the locker room to the point at which coach Scott Skiles goes nuts and tries to beat him to death after a game.<\/p>\n

Projected record: 42-40<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Cleveland Cavaliers<\/strong><\/p>\n

I’m not sure why I’m predicting them to be better than last season. Their big addition was a player (Larry Hughes) whose skills too closely mirror those of LeBron James. I thought they needed a dead-eye shooter who can light it up from the perimeter. Unfortunately, they went with the “he’ll be the Scottie to LeBron’s Jordan” mentality, which is asinine.<\/p>\n

I mean, let’s look at all these perimeter players who are “Top 10 talents” in the NBA: Kobe, McGrady, LeBron, Ray Allen, Vince Carter, Paul Pierce, etc. These guys keep piling up monster numbers, but they’re not exactly marching through the playoffs, because it’s too easy to configure defenses to limit their touches or drive them to areas on the floor where they’re uncomfortable. They’re not worth a damn without either a good point guard, or an overpowering center (Yao doesn’t count, since he can’t stay on the floor). Jordan was once in a lifetime; get over it.<\/p>\n

LeBron’s fun to watch, but that team’s going as far as Zydrunas Ilgauskas can carry them. I guess they’ll win a few more games than last year, especially if their crazy-haired Brazilian stays off the injured list, but I don’t see them making noise in the playoffs. <\/p>\n

Projected record: 48-34<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Detroit Pistons<\/strong><\/p>\n

They’ll be so happy to not have to hear Larry Brown’s voice, it’ll carry them for the first 6 weeks of the season. After that, it’ll be interesting to see if they respond to their first losing streak with comments about “that’s not how coach Brown would do it,” and “way to get out of the first round of the playoffs that one time, coach Saunders.” Which is to say, this team better be self-motivating.<\/p>\n

The Pistons remain a pretty bizarrely assembled team, but I wouldn’t put it past them to make another good playoff run, squaring them off against the Pistons in the second round. Then we can see a Bird\/’Nique duel between Darko Milicic and Jonathan Bender.<\/p>\n

They are a deep squad, and Saunders loved playing a defensive zone when he had long players like Kevin Garnett & Joe Smith, so he’s probably drooling over the possibilities of playing Rasheed Wallace and Tayshaun Prince with Ben Wallace ready to pad his blocks-per-game stats while leaving his defensive assignment free to get offensive rebounds.<\/p>\n

Projected record: 52-30<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Indiana Pacers<\/strong><\/p>\n

Last year, I predicted that Ron Artest would melt down at a key point and submarine his team’s chances. I didn’t think it would occur quite as soon as it did last year, but it just goes to show you how uncontrollable my psychic powers are. It’s like a mediocre episode of the Twilight Zone, I tellsya! <\/p>\n

That said, I predict that Artest will keep his crap together this year, post a multi-game streak where no one he’s guarding gets a single basket, and put up at least one 50-point game. People will start talking him up as an MVP candidate, implicitly hoping that he melts down and beats a player to death after a tough loss.<\/p>\n

In preparation for PG Jamaal Tinsley’s annual dozen-game trip to the injured list, the Pacers signed Euro-import Sarunas Jasikevicius, formerly with Maccabi Tel Aviv. ‘Runas won the last three Euroleague titles, so I guess bringing him into Israel made sense. I mean, given Lithuania’s history with Jews during the war, I could imagine that some people were skittish about making him a national hero. On the other hand, we Jews do<\/em> love us some hoops.<\/p>\n

Reggie Miller finally retired, which means the last active player from that era is, um, Cliff Robinson? Is Kevin Willis still around? Anyway, it symbolizes the end of an era, of which Reggie was the tail-end. All the old-timers, just post-Magic\/Bird, are gone: Olajuwon, Drexler, ‘Nique, Barkley, Ewing, Stockton, Malone, Reggie, um, Blue Edwards, Tom Chambers, Dan Majerle . . . All retired. Of course, as good as all those guys were, Hakeem & Drex were the only ones who managed to win the title, so I guess it was an era of heroic underachievers. Regardless, it sure beat the Gary Payton \/ Larry Johnson era that followed, but hey.<\/p>\n

The Pacers still await Jonathan Bender’s breakout season. <\/p>\n

Projected record: 75-7<\/p>\n

* * *<\/p>\n

Milwaukee Bucks<\/strong><\/p>\n

So happy with their #1 overall pick in Andrew Bogut that they traded for a starting center a few days before the season begins. I read yesterday that SG Michael Redd, signed to a massive deal in the offseason, is one of the worst defensive guards in the league. They’ll benefit from getting TJ Ford back this year, unless he takes another nasty spill and ends up paralyzed. The frontline seems huge, with Bogut, Magliore, and Bobby Simmons, but I just think those winters in Milwaukee are so bitter that the team will suffer a rash of terrible injuries, and be lucky not to lose 50 games.<\/p>\n

Also, Bogut can’t jump over the Sunday paper. No one on this team will beat anyone to death, but GM Lenny Harris may pull a Matthew Broderick<\/a> on some unsuspecting Wisconsinites driving home from a game.<\/p>\n

Projected record: 34-48<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

by Gil Roth (NBA Week continues on VM! Don’t worry; it’ll be over soon!) Chicago Bulls Surprise team last year, but easily one of the worst playoff teams since the 1999 Atlanta Hawks, which actually made the second round. Fortunately, karma realigned itself and booted this team from the playoffs early, after Chris Duhon decided … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “NBA 2005 Central Division Preview”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-677","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-basketball"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4C7K-aV","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5679,"url":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/2010-2011-nba-preview","url_meta":{"origin":677,"position":0},"title":"2010-2011 NBA Preview","author":"Gil","date":"October 26, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"For the second straight year, no team-by-team breakdown or NBA preview for you! I just don't give enough of a crap about pro hoops anymore. Last year's explanation holds up pretty well, especially when you add the silliness of the \"Super Best Friends\" gang assembling in Miami.\u00c2\u00a0I'm sure I'll catch\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "basketball"","block_context":{"text":"basketball","link":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/sports\/basketball"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":675,"url":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/nba-2005-southeast-division-preview","url_meta":{"origin":677,"position":1},"title":"NBA 2005 Southeast Division Preview","author":"Gil","date":"October 28, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"by Tom Spurgeon (Here endeth VM's NBA week! Hope it didn't hurt too much!) Mostly Above the Halfway Point Division Seattle Supersonics Looking over Seattle's 2005-2006 roster is like learning about the marriage of a couple you thought had broken up months ago. Last year's experiment in having a bunch\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "basketball"","block_context":{"text":"basketball","link":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/sports\/basketball"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":678,"url":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/nba-2005-preview-texas-fed-exes-and-city-hexes-division","url_meta":{"origin":677,"position":2},"title":"NBA 2005 Preview: Texas, Fed Exes and City Hexes Division","author":"Gil","date":"October 26, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"by Tom SpurgeonSan Antonio SpursThe Spurs are the first team in NBA history where the better they play, the more likely the shooting guard's family is to be kidnapped and ransomed.Other than looking forward to Michael Finley's adjustment period, the only thing about the regular season with the Spurs worth\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "basketball"","block_context":{"text":"basketball","link":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/sports\/basketball"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":682,"url":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/nba-2005-2006-preview-left-hand-bottom-corner-division","url_meta":{"origin":677,"position":3},"title":"NBA 2005-2006 Preview: Left-Hand Bottom Corner Division","author":"Gil","date":"October 24, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"by Tom SpurgeonPhoenix SunsThat sound you hear from America's greatest city without actual city stuff is either Amare Stoudamire's knee ligaments grinding during rehab or the sound of men all over America scrambling across the room to change their Direct TV pre-sets to some other team to watch as an\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "basketball"","block_context":{"text":"basketball","link":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/sports\/basketball"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":676,"url":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/nba-2005-southeast-division-preview-2","url_meta":{"origin":677,"position":4},"title":"NBA 2005 Southeast Division Preview","author":"Gil","date":"October 28, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"by Gil Roth(Last day of NBA Week here on VM! Soon, it'll be back to confessional rambling and snarky comments about the news!)Atlanta HawksThis team, hands down, gave us the most entertaining story of the offseason. They offered Phoenix way too many assets for a free agent sign-and-trade of Joe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "basketball"","block_context":{"text":"basketball","link":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/sports\/basketball"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2789,"url":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/nba-preview-aaiee","url_meta":{"origin":677,"position":5},"title":"NBA PREVIEW! AAIEE!","author":"Gil","date":"October 28, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"It's that time of year, dear readers! The 2008-09 NBA season is starting tonight, so that means it's time to check out the official Virtual Memories NBA Season Preview! Sure, you might want to go straight to the team-by-team previews, but I think you really want to check out contributor\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "basketball"","block_context":{"text":"basketball","link":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/sports\/basketball"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/677","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=677"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/677\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=677"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=677"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=677"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}