{"id":825,"date":"2006-01-31T09:57:49","date_gmt":"2006-01-31T14:57:49","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/piss-christ\/"},"modified":"2006-01-31T09:57:49","modified_gmt":"2006-01-31T14:57:49","slug":"piss-christ","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/piss-christ","title":{"rendered":"Piss? Christ!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Matt Welch, a contributing editor at libertarian magazine Reason<\/a>, is now assistant editorial page editor at the LATimes<\/a>. The paper required him to give a urine sample to help keep the LATimes a “drug-free workplace”<\/a>. Those of you who know anytihng about libertarianism know how funny this is.<\/p>\n

Yet it’s been company policy for at least 18 years that every new hire excrete on command while a rubber-gloved nurse waits outside with her ear plastered to the door. Those who test positive for illegal drugs don’t get their promised job, on grounds that someone who can’t stay off the stuff long enough to pass a one-time, advance-notice screening might have a problem. (And yes, it has happened in the newsroom a handful of times.) This despite the fact that we generally don’t operate machinery heavier than a coffee pot, aren’t likely to sell our secrets to blackmailing Russkies and are supposed to be at least theoretically representative of typical Americans. <\/p>\n

Because guess what? The typical American \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and just about every journalist I’ve ever asked \u00c3\u00a2\u00e2\u201a\u00ac\u00e2\u20ac\u009d has already tried marijuana at least once before the age of 25, according to the government’s National Survey on Drug Use and Health. What’s more, despite 35 years and billions of dollars’ worth of taxpayer-financed propaganda to the contrary, most of those who’ve inhaled didn’t collapse through the “gateway” into desperate heroin addiction or “Traffic”-style sex slavery. George W. Bush turned out all right (at least on paper), as did Al Gore, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bill Walton, Michael Bloomberg and millions more.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Welch’s plight reminds me of a great comic strip by Evan Dorkin<\/a>, called (something like) “Ayn Rand in Hollywood.”<\/p>\n

It’s a 3-panel strip. In panel 1, Rand is typing away at her desk. A production manager runs in and says, “The director says we need to cut 2 pages from the last scene.”<\/p>\n

Panel 2 is wordless, with Rand staring into the distance.<\/p>\n

In panel 3, she says, “Sure thing!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Matt Welch, a contributing editor at libertarian magazine Reason, is now assistant editorial page editor at the LATimes. The paper required him to give a urine sample to help keep the LATimes a “drug-free workplace”. Those of you who know anytihng about libertarianism know how funny this is. Yet it’s been company policy for at … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Piss? Christ!”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4,18],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-825","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-literature","category-politics-implicit"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4C7K-dj","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":8019,"url":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/podcast-dogs-of-la","url_meta":{"origin":825,"position":0},"title":"Podcast: Dogs of LA","author":"Gil","date":"July 8, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Virtual Memories: Merrill Markoe\u00a0- Dogs of LA \"I hate to find out that people I admire are schmucks.\" Legendary comedy writer, producer and performer Merrill Markoe let me into her home after seeing pix of my adorable greyhounds, and we got to spend an hour talking about how she co-created\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Adventures in Rufus and\/or Otis"","block_context":{"text":"Adventures in Rufus and\/or Otis","link":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/adventures-in-rufus-and-or-otis"},"img":{"alt_text":"Merrill-Markoe_by_John-Dolan_jpg_627x325_crop_upscale_q85","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/Merrill-Markoe_by_John-Dolan_jpg_627x325_crop_upscale_q85-620x321.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/Merrill-Markoe_by_John-Dolan_jpg_627x325_crop_upscale_q85-620x321.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/Merrill-Markoe_by_John-Dolan_jpg_627x325_crop_upscale_q85-620x321.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":8854,"url":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/episode-122-a-muse-apart","url_meta":{"origin":825,"position":1},"title":"Episode 122 – A Muse Apart","author":"Gil","date":"June 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Virtual Memories Show #122: Jonathan Galassi - A Muse Apart \"The literary writer still needs someone to have a dialogue with, to help shape their book, understand it and make it as presentable to the world as possible.\" FSG president Jonathan Galassi has been a literary editor and publisher for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Big Business"","block_context":{"text":"Big Business","link":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/category\/big-business"},"img":{"alt_text":"51xxp01m9xL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/wp-content\/uploads\/51xxp01m9xL._SY344_BO1204203200_.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6603,"url":"https:\/\/chimeraobscura.com\/vm\/podcast-comic-sans","url_meta":{"origin":825,"position":2},"title":"Podcast: Comic Sans","author":"Gil","date":"October 3, 2012","format":"audio","excerpt":"Virtual Memories \u2013 season 2 episode 12 Tom Spurgeon - Comic Sans \"I was morphined up and looking out the back of an ambulance for about three hours. 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