The Saddest Thing

The weather was so gorgeous today, I took a half-day from work. I thought about hiking some trails, but I can do that over weekend. Instead, I rolled up to Woodbury Common Outlet Mall to look for a higher-end tux discounted to cheap Jew levels. (My lack of formalwear nearly bit me on the ass this week, so I decided to finally buy one.) I ended up also buying a few shirts, a tie, and a new pair of Merrell Chameleons, to replace the ones that I had on and that needed to be burned.

I stopped at the food court around 2 to get a snack, and that’s where I saw the saddest thing:

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I thought about picking it up, but realized it was exactly where it needed to be.