Still Ill

Michael Blowhard offers up a lovely meditation on age and the relationship of body and mind (okay, soul). This musing is occasioned by MB’s participation in beach volleyball during a long weekend. At 53 and surviving cancer, he explores a number of metaphors for the relationship “we” have with our bodies, and how those relationships evolve as we age. It sorta culminates in this:

The best comparison I’ve been able to come up with is to owning a car. When your car is brand new, you roar around in it, relishing the speed, the nimbleness, and the responsiveness. It isn’t just that your car is an extension of you. You’re a team, merging into one fabulous, even better organism.

By the time your car is 10 years old, though, you have a different relationship with it. Your car has developed intractable quirks and failings. Things often go wrong for no apparent reason whatsoever. And when a reason is apparent, there’s often nothing that can be done about it anyway. In order to keep this car running, you have to take its weaknesses into account. You need to be prepared for surprises, as well as for the fact that few of them will be good ones. You and your car aren’t roaring around together any longer, celebrating the power that together you represent. You’re now your car’s caretaker. You’re clearly in charge, you’re definitely responsible, and fate will do what fate’s gonna do anyway.

I started doing a variety of yoga last October, and found it to be enormously beneficial. I had a small surgical procedure that forced me to stop for a few weeks last May, and then I let inertia / laziness take over, leading to three months without a real workout. I started again last week, and am kicking myself for falling out practice just at the time of year when my job grows most stressful (the added flexibility helps when you need to kick yourself).

Now that I’m going into a heavy-duty mode to finish an unexpectedly large September issue, put on our annual conference and make its 40-page attendee guide, assemble the big October issue, and promote our year-end gigantic directory (400+ pages), I’m making a point of getting a workout in every other day. But that’s neither here nor there, unless you have to work or live with me.

Anyway, his post has some interesting ruminations on age. It’s a subject I’ve been pondering as I deal with the inevitability of the fact that I just don’t fit in with the 20- and early 30-somethings here in my office. Oh, and that there are college basketball players who were born the year I entered college. Here’s another excerpt:

One thing that some younger people often don’t understand about aging is that age isn’t merely the failure to be young. Age is its own thing. Younger people sometimes look at older people and see people who just aren’t trying hard enough. The aches, the protectiveness, the irritability . . . If only the graybeards would try harder, none of that would be a problem.

Young people often seem to explain age to themselves as a failure of will, in other words. What they miss is that it isn’t only the body that changes as you age. Your values, your abilities, and your desires change too. Excitement becomes less important, for example — something often to actively avoid, because it’s just too damn rattling. Besides, been there done that. Calm and peace become more important. Youthful willpower — aka push — evaporates, to be replaced by a determination to enjoy life as it is. Dissatisfaction and the lust to achieve is replaced by gratitude for what is. It’s not just that the ability to will things into being vanishes, it’s that the desire to do so also goes. Energy and inspiration can no longer be ordered up and bossed into performing. Instead, maybe they come, maybe they go . . . They do what they do on their own schedule. Life’s good either way.

I’m gonna go be crochetty now. Goddamn kids . . .

Tremendous Upside Potential

Mitch Lawrence, NBA columnist for the NY Daily News, hates the New Jersey Nets. I didn’t realize this until the Nets became good after an off-season overhaul by general manager Rod Thorn before the 2001-02 season.

The key move of that period was the trade of Stephon Marbury for Jason Kidd. Kidd’s arrival catalyzed the team and helped them reach back-to-back NBA finals. Since the Nets had barely sniffed the playoffs in years, this was an unprecedented level of success.

Despite this incredible run, Lawrence contended that the Nets would end up the losers in the deal, because Kidd was considering leaving as a free agent to sign with the Spurs. Kidd re-signed with the Nets, while Marbury had one decent season for the Phoenix Suns before being traded to the New York Knicks, where he has reached the playoffs just once (and was swept 4-0 by . . . Jason Kidd’s Nets). The Suns, after Marbury’s departure, became the most exciting team in the league.

Besides the trade for Kidd, GM Thorn made one other major move before the season. The Nets, who stunk up the joint the previous year, had the #7 pick in the draft. They chose Seton Hall forward Eddie Griffin, who was leaving for the pros after a tumultuous freshman year. It seems Eddie had gotten into a locker-room fight with a teammate, repeating the behavior that got him thrown out of high school. Still, he was 6’10”, could block shots, run the floor and even shoot a little.

Weighing the talent against the potential headaches, Thorn elected to trade Griffin to the Houston Rockets for three other first-round draft picks: Richard Jefferson, Jason Collins, and Brandon Armstrong.

Armstrong washed out of the league, but Collins has been an (inexplicably) effective defensive center who also passed well enough to fit into the Princeton offense the Nets implemented with the arrival of Kidd. The key to the deal was #15 pick Jefferson, who became a “do-everything” linchpin for the team, even running the team as a “point-forward” when Kidd was rehabbing from knee surgery several seasons ago.

Griffin? Well, it looks like Thorn was right to be scared off. He battled alcoholism and generally idiotic, compulsive, loser-ish behavior. He got cut by Houston and the Nets actually signed him on the cheap. But he got into trouble while crashing a wedding at a NJ hotel and left the team before he ever played a game for them. He wound up in Minnesota, got busted for allegedly, um, taking care of himself with an adult movie while driving.

That turned out to be his last chance. Cut by the T-Wolves — but paid off for his contract — Griffin died Friday night in Houston after driving through a railroad barrier in his SUV and getting pasted by a train. Considering it took days to identify his body from the flaming wreck, I doubt we’ll find out whether his choice of “on-board entertainment” had anything to do with the crash.

What does this have to do with Mitch Lawrence? Well, my favorite “Nets-hater” moment from Lawrence occurred during an ESPN-radio appearance he made before that fateful 2001-02 season. Discussing the draft, he announced, “The Nets made a serious mistake trading Eddie Griffin. Five years from now, he’s going to be the best player to come out of that draft.”

Today? Lawrence writes, “His career will be remembered most for his numerous off-court problems.” Eddie was 25 years old.

Darin’ Aaron Magoo

So sorry for the lack of updates, dear readers, but my buddy Aaron (a.k.a. Fink) came to visit this weekend, and we spent much time . . . um, hanging out, watching movies, and eating very NJ food.

Speaking of which, Fink may never eat solid food again, after back-to-back days at Hackensack’s finest: White Manna and Brooklyn’s Brick Oven Pizzeria. I’ve never seen someone use Jameson as a digestif, but it seemed to have the right acid content for him.

It was a good time, intestinal woes notwithstanding. We got Fink up to speed on the most entertaining movie ever, as well as a couple of movies with hot women in their 40s: Catherine Keener and Kelly Preston.

And . . . we meandered around Ringwood Manor on Saturday, where Amy & I took a ton of pix! (Fink also took pix on his iPhone, but we didn’t check those out.) It was a wonderful day — mid-70’s, dry, breezy and clear — so we spent a bunch of time just strolling around the grounds. Well, Fink & I did. Amy was pretty dedicated to working out her new camera. I was just happy to have some success with the macro function on mine.

Anyway, it was a weekend of fun conversation, fun movies, and heavy-duty dining choices. Oh, and we swapped our iTunes libraries, so I may stumble across even more obscure and bizarre music than ever.

Fink on the bridge

(This post’s title comes from this morning’s installment of Achewood.) 

It also fixes your schwerve

Sure, I get plenty of headaches at work, but there’s also fun to be had. You just have to know where to look. For instance, while checking out news releases this morning, I stumbled across a clinical-stage drug that’s described as a “minor groove binder.”

Fashion Police

Moreover, the Economist‘s arts mag’s blog (?), has a good post on Sen. Schumer’s (D-NY) idiotic legislation against fashion knockoffs. Beyond the standard complaints about how these knockoffs allow fashion to trickle down to people who can’t afford couture (I hope I’m using that term correctly), I was intrigued by the idea that we could create a whole new class of constabulary, charged with busting fashion copycats!

Wouldn’t it be great? Instead of having courts deal with $54 million lawsuits over drycleaners’ liability for lost pants, courts could judge whether the pants’ silhouette was too similar to a design from Paris. We could have a meter on how many homages constitute theft! Think of the possibilities (without ripping off anybody else’s thoughts)!

Maybe it’s a silly idea, and we should just focus on the idea that fashion should be out of reach of the hoi polloi. In that case, I get to break out the scanner and offer up some of my favorite comic-book panels of all time:

Peter Bagge's Hate: Lisa in a potato sack

Peter Bagge's Hate: Lisa in a potato sack Peter Bagge's Hate: Lisa in a potato sack

All panels copyright 1992 Peter Bagge.

Physical Humor

I’m in my mid-30s and have a family history of high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease, so I figure it’s best that I start getting some expert opinion on my health. I’m not diligent enough to see a doctor regularly, but I did manage to have my nowhere-near-annual physical this morning.

I had to fill out a general medical info form when I got to the office. Near the top of the form was a line for ‘Chief complaint,’ which I responded to with “high taxes.” I know I should’ve gone with “incivility on the internet,” but that’s what you get for writing in ink.

Anyway, the doctor was happy with pretty much everydarnthing. My LDL’s a little high, but it’s down 30 points from my last checkup in September 2005, so no statins for me! Blood pressure, heart-rate and EKG were also just fine. He even praised my moderate drinking, though he admitted that there wasn’t a ton of research on the benefits of gin.

I was actually a little worried about that EKG, given a family member’s recent episode of SVT, but the doctor assuaged my fears on that one. He mentioned that the EKG showed no basic signs of it and, “When you hit 50, we’ll do a stress test and all the other regular exams.”

“When I’m 50,” I said, “we’ll have nanobots to take care of that stuff.”

Then I thought, I’m gonna be 50?