Lost in the Supermarket: Singles 45s and Under

It’s time for our first reader submission to Lost in the Supermarket! Benji C. sends in Spam: the Single!

It’s a pity they registered that “Just rip and tear your way to CRAZY TASTY® town!” slogan! I was gonna use it as the tagline for my site! Thanks, Benji!

Do you think “Single” is meant to descibe the product or the person who buys it?

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Lost in the Supermarket: Taste the truck

My old man used to tell the story about how my brother & I gave a big f*** you to Tonka Trucks’ claim of indestructibility. To be fair, I’m not sure the manufacturers really expected 3-year-olds to have mastered power tools.

Chewable nuggets of trucks!

I just think it’s weird that you’d want to feed children pieces of rubber shaped like the toys that you don’t want them eating. Also, they’re pieces of rubber shaped like industrial trucks. Yet another reason I don’t have kids, I guess.

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Lost in the Supermarket: The Cookies and the Calculus

Academics have long argued whether Gottfried Wilhelm “Choco” Leibniz stole the idea for calculus tasty cookies from Isaac “Fig” Newton, or vice versa:

When choosing between these two, I think it’s less important to worry about UK vs. Prussian pride, and more important to keep in mind that the FDA has some pretty gross standards for permissible levels of insect heads in fig paste.

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Lost in the Supermarket: Amish Paradise

It’s against the law here in NJ to sell alcohol in supermarkets, so this installment is technically a cheat. Still, the liquor store happens to be right next to the supermarket, and hey, it’s my blog.

I saw this out of the corner of my eye —

— and was impressed that someone would target an Irish stout toward people headed into Rumspringa.

Then I realized that it read “BEAMISH” and not “BE AMISH”.

See the whole Lost in the Supermarket series