Guest column: If loving bacon is wrong, I don’t want to be right

From time to time, I let other people get in on my Virtual Memories. Today, official VM girlfriend Amy has something to say:

I’m not naming names, but a certain scrawny-ass blogger accuses me of chubby-chasing because of my laissez-faire attitude toward (or encouragement of) unhealthy eating habits. It’s true; I don’t care about a few pounds here and there (keep in mind that she’s 5’4″ and about 110�ed.). A low-pitched fatty grunt doesn’t necessarily put me off. And perhaps I do find voracity appealing, as it indicates an expansive passion for life, a juiciness I gravitate to in other people.

But honestly, it’s an unfair accusation! I realized today that, as I come from a typically wide-bodied south Louisiana family, nature AND nurture are conspiring against me. Check out this article.

I really shouldn’t be surprised by the stuffed deep-fried burger, I guess. My people start spaghetti sauce with a roux, fry turkey, and bacon up everything short of dessert while dishing recipes the way others discuss Michael Moore’s shading or all things Olsen.

I’ve gotten wonderful cooking tips from the men at the gun range and even once kept an ex-boyfriend around long enough after breaking up to coax a secret family recipe from him. Heartless? Sure. Proud of it? Not especially. But it’s the best steak marinade YOU’LL ever try. (Holymotherofgod . . . A STUFFED DEEP-FRIED BURGER?!)

Ahem.

Sure, I understand the perils of an immoderate lifestyle: diabetes, heart disease, celibacy. But you know what? This still sounds like a good idea to me.

Amy

The Meritocracy of Blogging?

Article over at BusinessWeek about executive blogging. It’s kinda neat (I think they’re REALLY wrong with their comment about the current number of blogs in existence), but there’s a typically impenetrable comment from FCC chairman Michael Powell in it:

Blogs also give readers the chance to respond. Powell wrote in his first entry that he turned to blogging “to try to get beyond the traditional inside-the-Beltway Washington world where lobbyists filter the techies. I’m looking forward to an open, transparent, and meritocracy-based communication.”

As ever: Huh?

“She says I’m her all-time favorite . . .”

Rick James died yesterday in his sleep. Fortunately, I still have that Dave Chappelle episode about him and Charlie Murphy on my TiVo. The official VM girlfriend and I derailed our plans to watch Into the Night and replayed that priceless bit of programming instead, in tribute to the old boy.

Here’s a little bio.

Update Aug. 11: Nice obit on Slate, by some guy who’s evidently a 7th grade music teacher. MY 7th grade music teacher was obsessed with the “Paul-is-dead” theory, and swore that he was shown for a moment in the crowd in the film of the Beatles’ Shea Stadium concert. Thanks, Mr. Reiner!

Sudan Update

I haven’t written much about the genocide in Sudan lately, except for a brief rant during my Budapest dispatches. Partly that’s because there’s been so much (belated) coverage by the world media. Also, it’s because Passion of the Present has been doing such a great job of coverage. I sorta figure my interested readers will click the Sudan Crisis link on the top of the Blogroll (left side of the page). If you are interested in learning more about what’s going on there, and what you can do to help save the lives of these people, check out that site first.

The news isn’t particularly heartening. The African Union has committed 2,000 troops to monitor the ceasefire and provide security for refugees, but Sudan is balking at their entry. There was a mass protest of the UN’s authority in the capital, Khartoum. Given the toothlessness of the UN resolution (“Think about stopping or we’ll start having cluster-fuck conversations about sanctions”), I guess this is more a way of protesting the possibility of U.S./UK military intervention.

Stanley Crouch wrote pretty disingenuously about the genocide in the Daily News this week. I don’t mean to say that his desire to see an end to the genocide in Darfur isn’t as strong as mine. But when he called for the U.S. to get involved, he wrote

The Bush administration is also punking out. It is going along with the cowardice and immorality of the world at large because those advising it fail to understand that this is the time to take chances. Had President Bush gone into Sudan with the Army’s new OTW (Operations Other Than War) unit last month, the world would have been caught off guard – and the Democratic convention would have been overshadowed.

There would, of course, be those screaming about infringing on Sudan’s sovereignty. They would make it a matter of pride and unity for Muslims to stand behind that racist regime. That would be to the good, because it might push Muslims into reconsidering the shortcomings of Islamic tradition.

I think his disingenuousness is revealed in the part about “overshadowing the DNC.” He seems to be glossing over the fact that we live in a country so polarized that major media sources snigger about the out-of-date nature of terror warnings and imply that they’re politically motivated, months after complaining that the government didn’t pay attention to years-old info that would’ve “connected the dots” about 9/11. So to imply that the President is simply “punking out” on Sudan is pretty bullshit.

American politics has made this situation far more complicated than it should be. I’m pretty convinced that a mission into Sudan (even one limited to providing humanitarian aid) would be contorted by the left-wing of our media into another example of Bush’s American Empire or somesuch. American deaths in Sudan would somehow be tied into that country’s oil reserves, and at least one Halliburton subsidiary would get involved in construction or logistics of military facilities, bringing the rage of Michael Moore down on the Administration.

(I’m only hoping, in the event that Bush loses the election in November, that he doesn’t follow his dad’s example and commit troops to Sudan after being voted out of office. Sure, Clinton allowed ‘scope creep’ to set in with the Somalia mission, but it was pretty bullshit of Bush Sr. to send armed forces to a third world African country on a vaguely defined humanitarian mission less than a month before Clinton was to be sworn in.)

Don’t get me wrong: I’ve been calling for a military force to invade Sudan since I first learned the details of what’s going on. Sudan’s a failed state, it harbored the biggest name in international terrorism, and it’s supporting a program to kill off a million of its own inhabitants. Sure, we need to force immediate aid and security into the Darfur region, as well as the refugee camps in Chad (and our new non-enemy Libya might be able to help provide a base to do that), but I don’t know where that leaves us in the long term.

I suppose Stanley’s right in that we need to build a situation where the Muslim world can stop supporting this regime as a sign of protest against “American hegemony,” which my leftist friends tell me is the biggest threat to world security.

(As opposed to, say, the government of a totalitarian state of more than a billion people trying to suppress information about a wildly virulent, fatal respiratory disorder. I am, of course, just venting over here. Don’t mind me.)

I’m gonna get me some coffee, and maybe I can clean up this rant a little so it actually makes some sense.

Swoopin’ and Hoopin’

The U.S. Olympic basketball team got drilled by Italy in a tune-up game yesterday. The Italians managed to drop 15 3-pointers on a team composed of NBA stars. A lot of big names dropped out of the Olympic squad (or turned down invites) because of security concerns, exhaustion, injury, and/or marriage plans. I think one actually said he couldn’t go because he was washing his hair.

Anyway, the era of American dominance in hoops has been over since the World Championships in 2002, when Argentina beat the U.S. pretty badly (I bought an Argentina basketball jersey from Ebay the next day: Go, Origenes!). The American team went into a spiral, and came in 6th at that tournament, an absolute embarrassment for a squad comprised of NBA veterans.

This year’s squad may repeat that performance, on a much bigger stage. Sports Guy (Tyler Durden to my Narrator) explains why this is going to happen, and how USA Basketball can fix it.

Phase 0

Neat article in today’s NYTimes about changes in preclinical drug testing. That subject matter may not interest you too much, but it’s part of my day job, and I have a vested interest in seeing the pharma/biopharma industry come up with better methods of drug discovery & development.

The best part of the article is that it doesn’t politicize, mention Medicare reform or Canadian reimportation, or imply that the drug companies are venal corporations out to suck the life from the American populace. It just talks about the new developments, some of their ethical questions, and the necessity of improving the R&D return-on-investment.

This is a pleasant change from the last days of Howell Raines, when the paper actually ran an opinion piece by a man who complained that Iressa added several months to the life of his wife, who suffered from brain tumors. No, really.

(Speaking of my day job, if you follow through that link, you’ll see my magazine’s annual Top Companies report, in which my associate editor and I profiled the top 20 pharma companies and top 10 biopharmas. Y’know: if that sorta thing interests you.)