Just how do you develop the Mashed Potato Bowl?
Good and Bad
The good news: Official VM just-about-closest-friend-in-the-world Ian just got promoted to Chief Petty Officer. At first, I thought this meant he was quitting the Navy to become a roadie for Tom Petty, but then I realized that it’s actually “the most significant promotion within the enlisted Navy ranks,” according to Wikipedia. I’m hoping it’s accurate, as opposed to this hilarious story from The Onion. So, congrats!
The bad news: One of my uncles in Israel had to flee for the shelters last night. He writes,
The nightmare becomes reality. At about 2100 this evening (Erev Shabbat) the sirens began to wail. Only my daughter and myself were about and we both made straight for the shelter. The siren seemed to go on for ever. After about a minute silence. A few seconds later we heard a distant boom. More like a thud. We waited a few minutes more and emerged unscathed from the shelter.
It seems that three rockets fell in the vicinity of Hadera. No casualties reported so far. Spent the rest of the evening watching Clint Eastwood’s recent masterpiece: “Million Dollar Baby.” It was difficult getting the siren out of my mind. Latest news is that the IAF has taken the launchers out but I assume that they still have more launchers. Ah well, tomorrow’s another day. It always is!
I just finished re-reading the first segment of Gravity’s Rainbow, “inspired” by the rocket attacks. It’s “about” the German rocket attacks on England during WWII, focusing on the V-2 rocket. Since that one flew supersonically, the impact would occur before the sound of its approach. Pynchon’s characters (including several behavioral scientists) are fascinated by this concept, with the way our perception of cause and effect gets reversed.
Of course, in the Middle East, we all have our own problems with sorting out cause and effect.
No one goes to Hooters for wings
BW offers the Worst Brand Extensions.
The one time I dyed my hair (fall 2002), I think I used that Maxim hair color. I can’t remember, probably because the cheap chemicals seeped into my brain and destroyed my ability to retain short-term memories.
Souls on board
I’m about a third of the way through this article about how the northeast NORAD base responded to 9/11. It’s harrowing, and it’s reminding me how different we thought it all was 5 years ago.
Take it to the bridge!
Here’s an article on revolutions in bridge-building, accompanied by a gorgeous little slide show.
Malibu’s Most Wanted
We all say dumb things when we’re hammer drunk, and I think they generally fall into one of three groups:
Maudlin sentimentalities: “I love you guys,” “I could’ve gone pro if I didn’t blow out my shoulder,” or “My life is f***ed.”
Pronunciamentos: “David Duke is right! Who’s standing up for the rights of white men?” “This country will never be safe until we deport all the Eskimos,” or “The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world.”
Things we say to get into someone’s pants: “Your poetry’s really good,” “I like Radiohead, too,” or “What do you think you’re looking at, sugar tits?”
Which brings us to the case of Mel Gibson’s DUI bust. It was funny enough to see that he’d been busted, but the humor level went through the roof when the report came out about his anti-semitic tirade toward the arresting deputy.
Dan Drezner has a neat chain-of-events that will spin out of the weekend, Chris Hitchens offers a great subhed for his Gibson column (“He is sick to his empty core with Jew-hatred”), the Times has the meta-story about the speed of scandal, and Gregg Easterbrook has a football column up at ESPN.com.
Why mention that last one? Because Disney-owned ESPN fired Easterbrook a few years ago for what were perceived as anti-semitic remarks directed at movie studio owners. I wrote about the situation here and here. For a while, Easterbrook’s Tuesday Morning Quarterback column was carried at NFL.com. It returned to ESPN this season without a comment. At the moment, it’s the lead item on ESPN.com, with the headline “Easter Tuesday.”
Maybe ESPN was just waiting for Disney CEO Michael Eisner to leave before bringing Easterbrook back. Or perhaps Willow Bay was a big fan of the column. The cold medication’s kicking in too strongly for me to make any real point here, but Easterbrook’s been “forgiven” by ESPN (which shouldn’t have fired him to begin with), even if they couldn’t get around to explaining how their interpretation of his comments has changed. Gibson, on the other hand, with his tortured apology, seems to be intent on proving the South Park guys right.
(In the process of “researching” this post, I came across a batshit-crazy anti-semitic website devoted to explaining Jewish ownership of American media. Enjoy.)
No disrespect to the occidentals
Made it back from New Orleans yesterday, but I brought a mean headcold with me. Took the day off from work today, since there’s no way I can drive in my present condition. Just getting down to the CVS and back this afternoon was an adventure.
Given these parameters, expect even less coherence from this blog for the next few days.
Recapping from where we left off: Amy & I had a wonderful dinner at NOLA on Sunday. I was like Reggie Jackson, going for three home runs that night:
Appetizer: Pan-roasted crab cake with smoky eggplant puree, feta cheese, crispy spinach and citrus butter
Salad: Strawberries and goat cheese with baby spinach, toasted pistachios and warm bacon-balsamic vinaigrette
Entrée: “Shrimp & Grits” sautéed Gulf shrimp, grilled green onions, smoked cheddar grits, apple smoked bacon, crimini mushrooms, Creole tomato glaze and red chili-Abita butter sauce
Stupidly, I added the NOLA Buzz Bomb for dessert (flourless chocolate torte with bittersweet chocolate mousse and brandied apricots wrapped in chocolate ganach). We were quite stuffed.
Earlier in the day, my wife went to church with her mom. Her dad stayed home, seemingly intent on passing that headcold on to me (just kidding). I read some Pynchon, tried to nap, and watched Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, and that’s about as close to religion as I’ve gone lately.
The sermon went on pretty late, evidently, but the highlight of the morning came when they were singing hymns. Amy told me that, during the children’s church segment, they broke out an old standard, the first verse of which is
Jesus loves the little children,
All the children of the world,
Red and yellow, black and white,
They are precious in his sight,
Jesus loves the little children of the world.
“That’s a nice sentiment,” I said.
“Yeah,” she replied. “But then they sang a second verse, which I’d never heard but everyone else knew:
“Jesus loves the little children,
All the children of the street,
English, Irish, Russian, Jew,
German, Jap, Italian, too,
Jesus loves the little children of the street.”
“Did Bill Parcells write your hymnal?” I asked. No disrespect to Orientals. Or Mel Gibson.
As I’ve said, everyone down there has treated me pretty well. Especially Emeril.