Things I never thought I’d say to a man in a bathroom

See, um, one of my coworkers is a big fan of the work of Alex Garland and Danny Boyle, and I wanted to let him know that the new science fiction film from those two was coming out this Friday.

Embarrassingly, this led to a moment in which I finished at the urinal and Tim walked out of a stall, and as we were washing our hands, I said to him:

Sunshine?

(I mean, it has a really awesome trailer, and it’s got the guy from 28 Days Later. . .)

Monday Morning Montaigne: Of books

I’m back! As with other forms of exercise, it was difficult for me to return to Montaigne’s essays after putting them off for a while. As Bizarro Aristotle says, “You make the excuses, and the excuses make you.”

What better essay to mark my return to this project than one entitled  Of books? In this one, M. discusses what books mean to him and why he reads. With his typical disingenuousness, he begins, “I have no doubt that I often happen to speak of things that are better treated by masters of the craft, and more truthfully.” He blames himself and not the books, claiming, “If I am a man of some reading, I am a man of no retentiveness.”

He proceeds to write about particular histories and memoirs that mean a lot to him, but I’m taking this opportunity to discuss another aspect of the essays, namely their strange relationship to art.

That’s because M. makes a digression to cover “books that are simply entertaining.” He finds Rabelais and Boccaccio “worth reading for amusement,” then writes, “As for the Amadises and writings of that sort, they did not have the authority to detain even my childhood.”

I was struck by the irony of that comment, since “writings of that sort” inspired Cervantes to write Don Quixote. In fact, this brings me to one of the complaints I have toward M.’s writings; his lack of interest in fiction or poetry. Now, I know that the novel wasn’t All That during his life (1533-1592), so I’ll let him off the hook with regards to the former.

Regarding verse, M. takes the opportunity to praise Virgil, Lucretius, Catullus, Horace and Lucan, but chiefly for the beauty and grace of their writing. Throughout the essays — at least, in the first 375 pages — the ancient poets get used as “color commentary,” a line or stanza here or there to illustrate a point M. has made, not as the center of an argument or a passage from which to learn. It’s clear that he knows his poetry, but it’s not clear that he gained much from it, beyond rhetoric and a sort of “beauty for beauty’s sake.”

Don’t get me wrong; I understand that the project in which he’s engaged is learning “how to die well and live well,” and that he finds essays, philosophy and histories much more useful to that process. Praising the work of historians, M. comments:

[M]an in general, the knowledge of whom I seek, appears in them [histories] more alive and entire than in any other place — the diversity and truth of his inner qualities in the mass and in detail, the variety of the ways he is put together, and the accidents that threaten him.

It’s a pity that he died before Cervantes and Shakespeare got their groove on, even though there’s a strong possibility he’d have missed the point of their work, too, given his dismissal of “Amadises” and his criticism of writers who rely on ancient plots. My reason for this crops up a page or so later, when M. dismisses long-windedness in the works of Cicero. He writes,

For me, who ask only to become wiser, not more learned or eloquent, these logical and Aristotelian arrangements are not to the point. I want a man to begin with the conclusion. I understand well enough what death and pleasure are; let him not waste his time anatomizing them. I look for good solid reasons from the start, which will instruct me in how to sustain their attack.

I’m all for a cut-to-the-chase mentality, but I think the same things he complains about in Cicero may also render M. unable to grasp the life-changing-ness of art.

Since it’s almost Monday Afternoon Montaigne, I guess I’ll have to let this go for the moment.

Visitation

My family (my brother, his wife and their two kids) just concluded a two-week visit here. Given the amount of running around this sorta trip entails, and the fact that the kids are 4 and 7, I hesitate to call it a vacation.

We had a 4th birthday party for Sela on Saturday, over at my Dad’s. I was too busy reveling (okay, getting sprayed by silly string and going swimming) to take many pictures, but here’s my photoset. My wife took a lot more, and got the kids to “perform” a little, too.

I like to think I took the “candid” of the day, while my brother was making like Lawrence Welk with the bubble machine:

I think they had a good trip, and it’s always fun to spend time with the kids (in small doses before we flee back to the house and say, “How do they do it?”).

Dis-credit

I bought the DVDs of the first 2 seasons of News Radio a few months back. Amazon had it for around $15 (it’s $30 as I check now). It’s one of those shows that I never caught regularly, but every rerun I’ve stumbled across has made me laugh pretty hard. So, since we had a double-strikeout last night with Netflix — Art School Confidential (terrible: we gave up and turned it off after 40 minutes) and For Your Consideration (even worse: we gave up after 10 minutes) — we decided to go back to Foley, Tierney, Hartman, et al. and have some guaranteed laughs.

There are only two problems with watching News Radio nowadays, and they’re both in the credits:

and

To paraphrase Tom Petty, I can’t decide which is sadder.

Caption Contest

During the MLB All-Star game, a commercial aired for The Bigs, the new arcade-style baseball videogame. The following image graced our screen (the video of the commercial isn’t online, so I had to take a photo; sorry):

Sadly, I don’t even know where to begin with jokes about this image. So I need you, dear readers, to offer up your best/dumbest/most mean spirited captions for this image of Albert Pujols in a game called, um, “The Bigs.” Comment away!

Alter-Native

Sorry for the lack of posts, dear reader. I’ve been pretty burned out, following that big issue of my mag, and haven’t slept too well. Sometimes it’s difficult for me to decompress after that. But I got 8 hours of sleep last night! This entailed turning in at 9:30pm, but hey!

I still didn’t feel particularly inspired to write this morning, but at least there wasn’t a strange buzzing in my head anymore. Yay!

Lay it down

Today’s WSJ has an interview with GlaxoSmithKline CEO Jean-Pierre Garnier. While the bulk of the interview covers the company’s Avandia crisis, JP also kicks some wisdom regarding the “developing world”:

WSJ: Glaxo recently donated 50 million pandemic flu vaccines to the World Heath Organization. What’s the story?

Dr. Garnier: It’s probably the largest vaccine donation ever. The company could have sold possibly those 50 million units. They [Glaxo] decided to set them aside because frankly those countries are not going to buy any pandemic vaccine. Some of them have no commitment to health care.

Let’s call a cat a cat. They’ll buy a lot of other things including Kalashnikovs before they allocate enough money for health care in their own countries.

Coffeetime!

I try not to bore you by writing about details from my workplace. There are plenty other subjects I can write about to bore you. That said, the Top Companies issue is all wrapped up, dear readers! I can get some rest! Or get back to writing these posts (Montaigne: here I come!) and bits and pieces of That Thing I’m Working On.

The really exhausting aspect of this annual issue is that I can’t really do anything else. I get up in the morning, have coffee and breakfast, read some papers, then get to work reading annual reports and analysts’ coverage, writing profiles, and revising pipeline spreadsheets as new clinical or regulatory announcements come out. It goes through the workday and into the evening, giving me palpitations when I look at the lists of “Profiles Written” and “Profiles To Write.”

As such, I can’t really get out and go anywhere in the evenings. In fact, it got so bad at one point that I ran out of my good coffee and had no opportunity to get out to Chef Central for a new supply.

It got so bad that I bought Starbucks beans at the local supermarket.

Somehow, Starbucks has become an international ubiquity. I have no idea how, because it seems to have the mission of “educating” people about high-end coffee, but serves up drinks brewed from beans that have been scorched and industrially demolished. It’s either a cruel joke or an attempt at making their standard coffee so unpalatable that consumers have no choice but to order those high-margin sugared-up confections. Or maybe it’s meant to parallel the middle stage of Evey’s education from V for Vendetta, but that would imply there’s some sorta payoff where we get to blow up the PM’s house or something.

Regardless, the downshot is that for several days I was stuck with a bag of Starbucks coffee for my mornings. Finally, last Saturday, my wife and I went on a short shopping trip, so I could hit Chef Central and restock. They were out of my #1 choice (Kenya AA). This happened once before, driving me to mention to the cashier, “I’m ready to kill everyone in this building.” Fortunately, he mentioned that the Jamaican Joe’s is a good second choice, so that’s become my #1A. I picked up two bags of it this time and headed home.

I’m still working though this morning’s mug, so my descriptive powers aren’t up to relating the euphoric rush I got from wafting the scent of those beans when I opened the first bag. If you come visit, I promise I’ll share some with you.

As I poured the bag into a coffee can, I marveled over the contrast with the Starbucks bag. Where the latter was shriveled, blackened, and cracked / chipped / filled with fragments and specks, the contents of the Jamaican Joe’s bags were whole, full-bodied, and, yeah, glistened a little with their oil. But not in a gay way.

Then I thought, “Why write about this stuff when I can just take some pictures?”

So here’s a little side-by-side slideshow of the good beans vs. the bad beans. Enjoy. I’m getting back to my mug. As the incomparable Dave Foley put it on an early episode of News Radio, “I don’t know what it is caffeine does for you, but I’m pretty sure that without it, your head caves in.”

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