Meet the G that kilt me

I’m still pretty busy, dear readers, so why don’t you spend some time with this excellent essay from The Nonist on the Fake History (and fake history-making) of the Tartan?

I’ve never seen Braveheart, and my history of Scottish stereotypes goes back to Orwell’s essay on antisemitism in England, where I first heard the “Scots are cheap” meme:

It is interesting to compare the “Jew joke” with that other stand-by of the music halls, the “Scotch joke”, which superficially it resembles. Occasionally a story is told (e.g. the Jew and the Scotsman who went into a pub together and both died of thirst) which puts both races on an equality, but in general the Jew is credited MERELY with cunning and avarice while the Scotsman is credited with physical hardihood as well. This is seen, for example, in the story of the Jew and the Scotsman who go together to a meeting which has been advertised as free. Unexpectedly there is a collection, and to avoid this the Jew faints and the Scotsman carries him out. Here the Scotsman performs the athletic feat of carrying the other. It would seem vaguely wrong if it were the other way about.

Years later in New Zealand, I saw a rental van parked at a lodge. The side of the van was plastered with the logo for “Scotty’s Rentals,” and carried the slogan, “Rates so low, a Scotsman would love them!”

Anyway, you oughtta be checking in on The Nonist’s blog every so often, or add it your RSS feed. He writes some pretty entertaining, thought-out posts.

Update

Ahoy, dear readers! Sorry I didn’t post yesterday. I probably won’t have time today, because I have a ton of work to do.

But I don’t want to leave you in the lurch, so I offer up this view of The Dog, as he uses his Mind Powers of the Mind to convince us that we should never bring him to a pet store again:

And if anyone knows where we can find dog toys that aren’t squeaky, leave a comment!

What it is: 3/17/08

What I’m reading: During the weekend, I finished Love & Sleep, Osamu Tezuka’s Buddha comic and Darwyn Cooke’s The New Frontier. I’m continuing to work on Retired Racing Greyhounds for Dummies. I have 6 weeks until the third volume of AEgypt gets reissued, but this week’ll get spent pounding out the April issue and designing an advertiser’s supplement, so I doubt there’ll be much book-reading going on.

What I’m listening to: Dummy, by Portishead

What I’m watching: 2nd season of The Wire (two episodes remaining), No Country for Old Men, and Super Bowl XLII Champions: NY Giants DVD

What I’m drinking: Tim Horton’s coarse grind (French press style), a gift from my pals in Providence

Where I’m going: nowhere this week

What I’m happy about: Rufus is doing much better on the stairs.

What I’m sad about: Closing the crate door on the poor guy when I go to work in the morning, even though lots of people — including veterinarians and greyhound owners — told me not to get upset about doing it.

What I’m pondering: Whether I should get a microchip implanted that will give me an electric shock anytime I go more than 3 days without writing back to e-mails from friends or family. I feel like a heel lately.

This and that

While finishing Love & Sleep, the second novel in John Crowley’s Ægypt cycle, this week, I came across the word, “rufous.” I checked with my dog Rufus to see if he knew what it meant, but he was as clueless as I was. Probably moreso, since he’s just a dog and he only gained his name a week earlier. According to Merriam-Webster, it means “reddish.”

I don’t mind archaic word choices — “rufous” crops up in a werewolf scene in 16th century Bohemia — because I always enjoy hunting down words and learning their derivations and histories. And since this series of books contains a novel-within-the-novel about Giordano Bruno and Dr. Dee, I have plenty of opportunities to learn.

No, Love & Sleep‘s oddest word choice actually comes from its back-cover copy, which tells us that the book “is a modern masterpiece, both extraordinary and literary.”

I was perplexed by the combination of those two words, which were part of the publisher’s description, not a reviewer’s blurb. I thought, “Why shouldn’t an extraordinary book be literary? What on earth does ‘literary’ even mean in this context?”

Then it hit me: “literary” wasn’t the odd term; “extraordinary” was.

Books get described as “literary fiction” all the time! But those books tend not to include a scene of werewolves in 16th century Bohemia (along with some esoteric witchcraft, what’s looking like a demonic possession, and an astral projection or two). Under “ordinary” circumstances, that would classify this book as Fantasy, and since it appears that those novels remain in a ghetto — it’s 2008, ferchrissakes! — the publisher must’ve wanted to reassure nervous readers that this is “literary fiction,” so they wouldn’t feel duped buying a series of novels praised by Harold Bloom.

So, with the novel’s “literary” cache affirmed (I think its writing suffices on that front, but that’s another reason why I’m not in publishing anymore), it looks like the publisher needed to come up with some adjective to cover its fantasy aspect. Hence the completely out of place “extraordinary.”

This compulsion to try to lift “good” fantasy (or other genre) writing into the “literary” arena has pissed me off for years. I remember laughing at someone who described his fantasy novel as belonging to “literature of the fantastic.”

I think Crowley’s Ægypt books are extraordinary. They may also be literary, depending on how you define that. They’re definitely at play in fantasy, just like Crowley’s best-known work, Little, Big. They’re also intimately familiar with esotericism, filled with characters whom I find compelling, and capable of sustaining my interest long after a lot of other contemporary novels wane.

I’ve got 6 weeks to wait till the third volume gets reissued. Meanwhile, you oughtta read Michael Blowhard’s ruminations on the subject of literary vs. popular fiction.

Time, tide and the Drew Friedman-izer wait for no man

Dennis Quaid has been in the news recently because of a hospital’s terrible medication error that almost killed his newborn twins.

There was a point where I (grudgingly) thought he was one of the best-looking guys on earth. His IMDB photopage doesn’t provide any evidence of this, but most of its pix are from the last 10 years, at which point I have to assume he went into serious decline. I just didn’t think it would get this bad: