I had to read several paragraphs into this press release —
— before I realized that Merck KGaA’s bio-unit was not actually planning to exit San Diego.
My next job title
We get a lot of fun/strange product-new press releases and conference announcements by mail at our magazines. I find it funny that people spend money on print mail for this stuff, rather than using e-mail, but I guess they think that editors prefer retyping press releases and manually scanning images.
Sometimes Mr. Postman brings us bad news. Until last month I had no idea that there was an annual conference called Mega Rust, and now . . . well, I’m just insulted that they never sent me an invitation. Sob!
Today’s mail brought a new product announcement for a new crane from Air Technical Industries. I was about to throw it out when I noticed the headline of the release:
VERSATILE MULTI-TASKING JIB-MASTER
If I saw a help-wanted ad with that headline, I’d send ’em my resume on the spot!
Air Kafka
You could link to just about any Onion News Network item and laugh, but I almost peed myself watching this one:
Prague’s Franz Kafka International Named World’s Most Alienating Airport
(It’s pretty loud, so turn the volume down before playing it.)