When I was in college (of course), my pal Mark & I talked about launching some sorta alt-culture ‘zine. Our only condition was that it would have nothing to do with music, because we could hold our own in just about any other field, but alt-music is the one field where you’ll always get demolished by someone who’s more “indie” than you. It was the early ’90’s, and people cared about that stuff then; get over it.
Nowadays, I need the occasional reminder that I’m old (38), out of touch, and otherwise unhip. Contemporary music is a great way to demolish any of my illusions that I can keep up with the kids. In that vein, I was happy that Pitchfork published its list of the top 500 tracks of the decade.
Since Matlock was just about to start, I skipped to the top 20, where I discovered that . . . I’m old, out of touch and otherwise unhip!
So, for your entertainment & edification, let’s count down Pitchfork’s top 20 tracks of the decade in terms of whether or not I ever heard them!
SONGS I HAVE NEVER EVER HEARD
20. The Walkmen – “The Rat”
19. R. Kelly – “Ignition (Remix)”
18. Hercules and Love Affair – “Blind”
17. Annie – “Heartbeat”
16. The Rapture – “House of Jealous Lovers”
15. The Knife – “Heartbeats”
13. LCD Soundsystem – “Losing My Edge”
9. Animal Collective – “My Girls”
8. Radiohead – “Idioteque”
6. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – “Maps”
5. Daft Punk – “One More Time”
2. LCD Soundsystem – “All My Friends”
SONGS I HAVE HEARD (WITH MY HEARING AID)
14. Jay-Z – “99 Problems”
12. OutKast – “Hey Ya!”
11. Gnarls Barkley – “Crazy”
10. Arcade Fire – “Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)”
7. Missy Elliott – “Get Ur Freak On”
4. Beyoncé [ft. Jay-Z] – “Crazy in Love”
3. M.I.A. [ft. Bun B and Rich Boy] – “Paper Planes (Diplo Remix)”
1. OutKast – “B.O.B.”
Weirdly enough, almost all the music that I do know from that list is by black artists, while almost every 0-fer was from white artists. This leads me to conclude that
- I’m racist,
- “YEAH!” by Usher, Lil’ Jon and Ludacris should’ve been somewhere in the top 100, and
- whitey made some shitty music this decade.
For what it’s worth, I’ve never even heard of the following bands from the list:
- The Walkmen
- Hercules and Love Affair
- Annie
- The Rapture
- The Knife
- Animal Collective
The only reason I know LCD Soundsystem is because Slate suckered me into buying their music. I hated their record so much I went back to check if the article was originally published on April Fools Day. If these other artists are anything like that, then I understand why the recording industry is collapsing.
I only know Arcade Fire because Robert Wilonsky mentioned that their song is used in the first trailer for Where The Wild Things Are. It turned out that I had one of their albums (Funeral
Oh, and I think “Hey Ya!” and “Crazy” should have been #1 and #2.
