The L Gets An F

For the first time in years, there’ll be no Virtual Memories NBA Preview, dear readers. Neither Tom S. nor I were too enthused by the league this year and couldn’t get motivated enough to put together even crappy one-liners about the teams.

I can’t recall ever seeing such clear lines between champion contenders (LA, San Antonio, Boston, Cleveland and Orland), playoff fodder, and truly horrible teams. The idea that the Atlanta Hawks are a near-lock for the 4th or 5th seed in the east speaks volumes about the league’s mediocrity.

In any case, “my” team

  1. gutted its roster in the off-season in order to save money,
  2. is just the pivot for Bruce Ratner’s giant real estate scam in Brooklyn anyway, and
  3. will be sold to a Russian gangster by year’s end, so it’s possible their new building will actually go up in Sheepshead Bay.

The other local team is going into its second consecutive year of deliberate awfulness as part of its plan to attract the league’s best player. Prior to this, its awfulness was accidental.

My local hoops scene is so bad that I can’t make any jokes about how Tom’s team (he’s from Indiana), stocked with such great white nopes as Jeff Foster, Josh McRoberts, Troy Murphy, and Mike Dunleavy, Jr. on the roster, decided to use its lottery pick on . . . Tyler Hansbrough.

So we’re going to pass on the NBA Preview this year. Go about your business.