Lost in the Supermarket: Don’t Give Me Any Lip

We return to Louisiana for this week’s edition! Cooking is an important part of the conversation between my wife & her dad, so our visits involve supermarket visits that invariably result in my stumbling across “food” I never imagined I’d see on a shelf. To wit:

“ALWAYS ask for the BEST”. Because you really don’t want to cut corners on your pickled pork lips.

See the whole Lost in the Supermarket series

F*** You, You Whining F***: 1/5/09

Editors and publishers must now learn how to use telephones.

(In a bonus piece of cluelessness, this article also focuses on publishers’ debilitating problem of returns from bookstores . . . without ever mentioning e-publishing! God forbid you mention a distribution venue that eliminates the cost of physical production, shipping and returns in an article about cutting costs!)

Monday Morning Montaigne: Of diversion

I was flummoxed by Of diversion (pp. 764-774) and tempted to skip writing about it. Problem is, the next essay, On some verses of Virgil, is

  1. 50 pages long, and
  2. about a poet I’ve never read.

So you’re stuck with Of diversion this week. The first two-thirds of this one discuss the various ways that individuals and the polis can be, well, diverted from unpleasant thoughts or feelings. Montaigne begins by telling us how he once consoled a sad woman, not by telling her that her sorrow was useless, but “very gently deflecting our talk and diverting it bit by bit to subjects nearby, then a little more remote, as she gave me more of her attention, I imperceptibly and entirely soothed for as long as I was there.” Once he left, she showed no improvement.

He brings up similar cases of diverting attention from a singular topic. M. being M., that subject tends to be death. He thinks there’s a rare person who can look death square in the eye; most men on the gallows will begin “praying aloud, with a violent and continual excitement,” and “busying their senses . . . as much as they can.” Facing death, we put ourselves elsewhere, in diversions of escape, or our children’s futures, or the lasting glory of our works.

The last third of the essay, as I said, goes off the rails for me. M. explains, “It takes little to divert and distract us, for it takes little to hold us.” From there, he launches into a digression about how we’re moved by lamentation in fiction, how actors and orators convince themselves of the sorrow of their speeches, and how people will mourn when they see a funeral procession, even if they don’t know who’s in the casket. He makes good points about the ease with which we get preoccupied, but it seems out of place in an essay that focuses on the implacability of grief and the difficulties we have diverting it.

Still, he offers up a wonderful little portrait of Keeping It Real after a loved one’s death:

In a region near our mountains the women play the part of Prester Martin [who spoke both parts at Mass]; for even as they magnify their grief for their lost husband by remembering the good and agreeable qualities he had, at the same time they also assemble and proclaim his imperfetions, as if to bring themselves to some sort of balance and to turn themselves aside from pity to disdain; with much better grace, at that, than we who, at the loss of a casual acquaintance, pride ourselves on lending him new and undeserved praises and making him quite another man, when we have lost sight of him, than he seemed ot use when we were seeing him. As if regret were an instructive thing, or tears enlightened our understanding by washing it. From this moment I renounce any favorable testimonials that anyone may want to give me not beause I shall deserve them but because I shall be dead.

On to Virgil!

What It Is: 1/5/09

What I’m reading: The Last Good Kiss, by James Crumley, and Joe Nocera’s long and worthwhile NYTimes magazine article about the risk management and its role in the financial meltdown.

What I’m listening to: Listen Without Prejudice, Vol. 1, by George Michael and 24 Hours, by Tom Jones.

What I’m watching: The Godfather, I & II.

What I’m drinking: Plymouth & Q Tonic, and Martin Ray merlot 2005.

What Rufus is up to: Getting ready to have his first day of alone-time in more than 2 weeks.

Where I’m going: Nowhere, although I really oughtta get down to Philly sometime to see my friend Drake before he moves away.

What I’m happy about: A pal of mine from college, Craig Gidney, just published a short story collection: Sea, Swallow Me. (I really oughtta make a side-page of links to books by my friends and acquaintances.) And a childhood pal of mine whom I haven’t seen in 20 years got in touch this weekend, leading to a catch-up dinner on Sunday.

What I’m sad about: Having to go right back to work.

What I’m pondering: Whether I should score some weed and prostitutes at my local Burger King.

R.I.P., Donald Westlake

Donald Westlake died on New Year’s Eve at the age of 75. My condolences to his wife and family.

I read a bunch of Westlake’s caper novels when I was a kid, and recently returned to the first one (which I took out of my local library, 25 years ago). I picked up a few others in the last month or two. In 2003, Michael Blowhard made him the first recipient of the Michael Blowhard Award for Excelling at Making Me Happy.

He wrote till the end of his days while I, meanwhile, have yet to start on the caper novel that I felt inspired/justified to write after re-reading The Spy in the Ointment. But I refuse to revise my New Year’s resolutions.

Low-res

My health is fine, my finances are in order and my job seems pretty secure, so I don’t have much by way of “you must change your life” New Year resolutions. I did pretty well on my main one for 2008: post to this blog every day. There were still a couple of down days, but I think I did well.

Here’s my list of 2009 resolutions:

  1. To finish reading Montaigne’s essays
  2. To not begin writing Tuesday Morning Plutarch once I’m done with Monday Morning Montaigne
  3. To read more poetry (and maybe fewer novels)
  4. To get back to practicing yoga
  5. To get back to drinking only water, black coffee or gin (well, maybe I’ll add wine to the list this time)
  6. To brush Rufus’ teeth 3x weekly

Let’s see yours!