Bleh

I’m home sick today with a headcold. I don’t feel like writing, but I don’t want to deprive you, my devoted readers, from a little dose of VM entertainment. So here’s a link to illustrator Christoph Niemann’s latest visual blogpost, covering his history with coffee! Enjoy!

Lost in the Supermarket: The Imitations of Crab

For this week’s installment of Lost in the Supermarket, I thought I’d hearken back to my doubleplusunkosher post by offering up . . . imitation crabmeat!

Of course, it begs the question as to whether something this artificial is actually traife. As opposed to just a Bad Idea.

This week, you get a bonus pic! It doesn’t come from a supermarket, so it doesn’t warrant its own post. However, I couldn’t resist snapping a pic of . . . a kosher hot sandwich vending machine?

I found this one up at an outlet mall in New York state. My wife & I will only go there on a Saturday morning, before the busloads of New Yorkers arrive and when the hasidic contingent has to stay home for shabbat. Otherwise, it’s like a cross of Spanish Harlem, the Axis powers, and Samaria up there.

See the whole Lost in the Supermarket series

What It Is: 12/1/08

What I’m reading: The new issue of Monocle, and Plutarch’s life of Theseus.

What I’m listening to: Everything That Happens Will Happen Today, by David Byrne & Brian Eno.

What I’m watching: Arrested Development, season 1. Like, two hours at a time. We bought all 3 seasons on Amazon a few months ago, for $20.

What I’m drinking: Plymouth gin, Q Tonic and lime.

What Rufus is up to: Having a nice Thanksgiving slumber-party with an Australian shepherd, going to a greyhound meet & greet the next day. No Wawayanda hike on Sunday for us, due to icy roads. But he did get his head scratched plenty.

Where I’m going: Martini Madness party next Saturday, at a friend’s place in town.

What I’m happy about: Finding another first edition of the hardcover of Richard Flanagan’s Gould’s Book of Fish down in Princeton (thanks, eagle-eyed wife!). I really oughtta re-read that, since I last read it in 2003.

What I’m sad about: That I didn’t get too many of my “To Do” items done during my week off. But I did put up that new curtain rod and the coat rack, so hey.

What I’m pondering: How far I’ve come since I bungee-jumped off The Ledge in Queenstown, NZ, which was five years ago today.

Photo by my pal Tina Bramley, without whom I’d have had a much more solipsistic and boring trip to the other side of the world.

Monday Morning Montaigne: Of the resemblance of children to fathers

With Of the resemblance of children to fathers (pp. 696-725), Montaigne closes out Book Two of the essays by ranting against medicine and the doctors who practice it. M. uses his standard practice of springboarding from his own experience into the wisdom and anecdotes of the ages. That portion of the essay takes up a full 20 pages, which I found way too long. I mean, as a man in my mid-to-late-30s, I can understand reticence about going to a doctor, but I don’t ramble on about the topic.

If the body of the essay was a bit tiresome, its introduction managed to catch my attention. M. starts out the piece by discussing his process of writing his essays. I quoted one bit a few weeks ago:

This bundle of so many disparate pieces is being composed in this manner: I set my hand to it only when pressed by too unnerving an idleness, and nowhere but at home. Thus it has built itself up with diverse interruptions and intervals, as occasions sometimes detain me elsewhere for several months.

In the seven or eight years since beginning the project, he tells us, he has made a “new acquisition”:

I have in that time become acquainted with the kidney stone through the liberality of the years. Familiarity and long acquaintance with them do not readily pass without some such fruit. I could wish that, out of many other presents that they reserve for those who frequent them long, they had chosen one that would have been more acceptable to me. For they could not have given me one that I had had in greater horror since my childhood.

M. tries to find an upside to his experience with the stone:

I have at least this profit from the stone, that it will complete what I have still not been able to accomplish in myself and reconcile and familiarize me completely with death: for the more my illness oppresses and bothers me, the less will death be something for me to fear.

That is, it’s not that he craves death to escape the pain; rather, the pain helps him lessen his fear of the end. He writes about other sufferers through history and their willingness to cling to life no matter how horrible their afflictions. It’s as if the immediacy of the body solves the questions of philosophy. Or, as Mike Tyson put it, “Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth.”

This “news” of M.’s kidney stone put me in mind of the close of Quicksilver, the first book of Neal Stephenson’s Baroque Cycle. After a lavish and drunken party, Daniel Waterhouse awakes to find himself strapped into an operating table in Bedlam hospital, about to be “cut for the stone.” This being the late 17th century, there’s no anesthesia for the procedure. His friend Robert Hooke prepares him for the surgery, calmly telling Daniel, “Please do not go insane.”

M. contends that the pain doesn’t exactly unman him, that his years of studying and thinking have left his mind “in a considerably better condition of life than a thousand others, who have no fever or illness but what they give themselves by the fault of their reasoning.”

This brings M. to the ostensible topic of his essay. See, M.’s dad also suffered from the stone, although he didn’t develop it until he was 67, more than 25 years after M.’s birth. And so, M. asks:

Where was the propensity to this infirmity hatching all this time? And when he was so far from the ailment, how did this slight bit of his substance, with which he made me, bear so great an impression of it for its share? . . . [H]ow did it remain so concealed that I began to feel it forty-five years later, the only one to this hour out of so many brothers and sisters, and all of the same mother?

His father’s legacies play out in other essays — in fact, it was at his father’s behest that he translated Raymond Sebond’s work, which led to my least favorite portion of the Essays — but this is the first time that he explores this aspect of parents and children. Sadly, he doesn’t stick with the subject, soon launching into his 20-page diatribe against medicine.

On to Book Three! Let’s hope he doesn’t end it with Of airplane food.

Your tax dollars at work

Public-private construction deals: bringing out the best in venality and pettiness:

The Bloomberg administration was so intent on obtaining a free luxury suite for its own use at the new Yankee Stadium, newly released e-mail messages show, that the mayor’s aides pushed for a larger suite and free food, and eventually gave the Yankees 250 additional parking spaces in exchange. . .

Tiger Craw!

We met up with Amy’s pals Ken & Denise and their kids, Kala & Quinn, down in Princeton today. I’d write more about it, but I’m awfully tired at present, so here’s a set of pix from our meander on campus. And here are the Guardian Gophers of campus!

From the land of squeezies

I’ve been off from work this week, and I thought that’d give me time to do some writing. Since we have guests coming over for Thanksgiving, cleaning up the house is my top priority. And since I haven’t cleaned the house in around a year, it’s taken some time.

This afternoon, I worked on the living room, which meant moving sofa, loveseat, coffee-table, chair, ottoman, and . . . Rufus’ bed and all his toys. He hasn’t been happy with all of my cleaning these last few days; since he’s compelled to get up and follow me from room to room, he hasn’t managed to take a good nap since Monday, when I went out for some errands.

He was really unhappy about having the entire living room turned upside down. In order to make him feel better (and to make room for sweeping), I decided to pile all his toys up on his bed (except for the ones that he carried off to his other bed). Then I realized it would make an awfully cute picture for you:

Have a happy Thanksgiving!

Lost in the Supermarket: No Hateration edition

Mary J. Blige & I were born on the same day, about 30 miles apart (the distance from Pompton Plains to Yonkers, as the crow flies), so I try to keep up with her work. In fact, she was the first person to expose me to the word hateration, in her great song Family Affair. I’ve always wanted to pay tribute to that, and now I get my chance:

I expect a credit (if not royalties) for her next single, “Let’s Get Brownulated!”

See the whole Lost in the Supermarket series