There’s nothing wrong with you that I can’t fix. With my stats.

Possibly the greatest basketball-to-comics non sequitur ever, courtesy of ESPN’s NBA preview article on Houston Rockets GM Daryl Morey:

Morey grew up reading Bill James’ Baseball Abstract and later worked for the stats guru, but his geekier tendencies might actually have more to do with his boyhood love of comic book anti-heroes who cut against the grain, figures like Frank Miller’s Dark Knight. “In a league in which 30 teams are competing for one prize, you have to differentiate yourself somehow,” Morey says. “We chose analytics.”

What’s great is that this article is all about using calm, cool reasoning and “analytics” to explain the decision to trade for Ron Artest!

Bonus: Did I mention that the annual Virtual Memories NBA Preview will be posted on Tuesday morning, just in time for the debut of the 2008-2009 season? I just did!

Peoples’ waggin’

At a traffic light during my drive home yesterday, I noticed this car in the next lane:

In case you can’t see this iPhone photo too clearly, it’s of a Volkswagen Phaeton with a W 12 engine. According to the Wikipedia page for this car, it looks like the W 12 is the top of the line for a Phaeton. This means that I was on the road with someone who spent more than $100,000 on a Volkswagen.

Or maybe — given the letter-sequence of his license plate — he bought it used for around $55,000.

Either way, I may have found the stupidest driver in New Jersey. It’s a Volkswagen!

Monday Morning Montaigne: Of evil means employed to a good end

I’m going to skip some of the short ones in this segment, such as Of riding post (pp. 626-7) and Of thumbs (pp. 634-5), on the grounds that I couldn’t come up with anything funny to write about them. If anything, they bolster the Montaigne-as-blogger argument, because we all have observations that don’t really go anywhere: “But they made sense at the time!”

This week’s main reading was Of evil means employed to a good end (pp. 627-630). Like Socrates does in the Republic, Montaigne draws out the correspondence between man and state:

The diseases and conditions of our bodies are seen also in states and government: kingdoms and republics are born, flourish, and wither with age, as we do. We are subject to a useless and harmful surfeir of humors. . . . States are often seen to be sick of a similar repletion, and it has been customary to use various sorts of purgation.

And so, just as the medicine of his day called for leeching or bloodletting for personal health, the health of the state also relied on such practices. In this case, though, establishing colonies and fighting wars serves to drain humors:

Sometimes also [the Romans] deliberately fostered wars with certain of their enemies, not only to keep their men in condition, for fear that idleness, mother of corruption, might bring them some worse mischief . . . but also to serve as a bloodletting for their republic and to cool off a bit the too vehement heat of their young men, to prune and clear the branches of that too lustily proliferating stock.

The choice, as M. puts it after citing several examples through history, is between foreign war and civil war, and the former is the “milder evil.”

He goes on to declare that gladiator fights were more humane than, um, the ancients’ practice of human vivisection of condemned criminals (?), because at least the latter was meant for the health of the soul while the latter only aided treatment of the body (?). M. does get around to condemning gladiatorial combat for getting out of hand —

The early Romans used criminals for such examples; but later they used innocent slaves, and even freeman who sold themselves for this purpose; finally Roman senators and knights, and even women.

— but he points out that this practice isn’t so bizarre, given the fact that, as he was writing, foreign mercenaries were fighting France’s internal quarrels merely for money.

* * *

Of the greatness of Rome (pp. 630-2): The Romans could make slaves out of kings, and kings out of ordinary citizens.

* * *

Not to counterfeit being sick (pp. 632-634): Don’t make a face or it’ll freeze like that.

What It Is: 10/20/08

What I’m reading: Samaritan, by Richard Price.

What I’m listening to: My new iPod, because my old one blew up after only 2 years of use: grr!

What I’m watching: Forgetting Sarah Marshall and the first episode of Mad Men. Observations: Mila Kunis is adorable, and Mad Men fell a bit flat/heavy-handed/eh after our experience with The Wire. I have a feeling that a lot of TV is going to fall into the same category after that series.

What I’m drinking: Ristow Cabernet Sauvignon 2000 on Saturday night and Sunday night. I’m up to two  drinks a week, but I still haven’t had a G&T since 9/26, partly because I’m too lazy to pick up limes & tonic at the supermarket.

What Rufus is up to: His first Sunday morning greyhound hike in Wawayanda State Park! Check out the pix!

Where I’m going: No plans, but we’ll likely go back to the park on Sunday.

What I’m happy about: The Red Sox lost game 7!!!

What I’m sad about: That my jury duty number for today turned out to be past the cutoff, so I don’t get to spring my “I can SMELL guilt!” line.

What I’m pondering: Whether I can go into a medically-induced coma to skip the next 2 weeks of electioneering.

That’s certainly transformational

I try to cut the Drudge Report a bit of slack; I figure everyone has an agenda, and so I do my best to weigh their biases and suss out the signal from all the noise. Still, I was a little sad when I checked out the site this afternoon and saw this link in the top of the right column:

Disappointed because I saw the interview earlier in the day, and I knew that’s not what Colin Powell said. In fact, the very story that Drudge quote links to includes the correct version of the quote:

I think the last decade’s proven pretty adequately that “Republican” is not the same as “conservative.” If you’re going to quote somebody, I think you have a duty to actually include the correct quote.