What’s the worst that could happen?

Bob: Our big biotech industry conference always attracts waves of moonbat-crazy protesters. Remember that time in San Francisco when they wore riot gear, dived under the buses that were carrying attendees to the convention center, and screamed at attendees with bullhorns?

Irv: Sure! And what about the time the policeman had a fatal heart attack during protests in Philadelphia? That was terrible! I hope nothing like that happens again!

Oscar: Hey, guys! I just invited Karl Rove to speak on a panel at this year’s conference!

(I’m thinking of making this an occasional series, too. Maybe enough wrong-ass stuff will crop up every week that I can justify making it my Thursday post. My big decision: do I keep it as “What’s the worst that could happen?” or relaunch it as “I see nothing that could go wrong with this plan!”)

Opening Foreclosing Day!

During his playing days, former MLBer and steroid abuser Lenny Dykstra explained to a writer that he was totally unwilling to read, for fear it would affect his batting eye. This reached the point where he wouldn’t even look at road signs (presumably, while he was being driven somewhere). So when my boss, a huge Mets fan, said to me about a year ago, “I saw this thing on Lenny Dykstra on HBO Real Sports last night. He’s a financial genius!”, I was more than a little skeptical. After all, last I’d heard about Dykstra, he was running a car wash in California and getting cleared of charges that he was sexually harassing a 17-year-old employee. All of a sudden, he was a stock wiz and the publisher of a magazine for rich athletes.

I concluded that you couldn’t find a bigger sign that we were in a financial bubble than the hyping of Lenny Dykstra as a stock-picking savant.

(Another big sign of that bubble was the New Yorker deciding to commission a lengthy profile on Dykstra around this time. Interestingly, they seemed to choose a writer who doesn’t know much about baseball or finance. Maybe he’s a car wash expert. I can’t find any references to this article in the magazine’s coverage of the global finance collapse and the media’s role in hyping easy money.)

Here’s some of that Real Sports segment:

You’d think Jon Stewart would’ve picked this clip as part of his Jim Cramer beatdown-montage. To quote Mr. Cramer, “I think people don’t think of Lenny as sophisticated. But I am telling you, Bernie, that not only is he sophisticated, but he’s one of the great ones in this business. He’s one of the great ones.”

So how’s that financial empire doing now? Well, the NYPost has just coined the name “Lienny Dykstra,” on account of his default on his $12 million mortgage.

Too Big To Fail?

Here’s my From the Editor column from the March issue of my magazine. Enjoy:

Too Big To Fail?

The pharmaceutical industry is experiencing a deepening productivity crisis. The industry’s preferred escape mechanism from this predicament has been to increase investment in current business activities — primarily R&D and sales — to sustain productivity levels or, ideally, to exploit economies of scale. This has been implemented through organic growth of critical resources and/or M&A. The fact that productivity continues to decline after a decade of vigorous growth in investment levels, and against a background of increasing company size, bears testament to the fallibility of this strategy.

We published those words in the June 2002 issue of Contract Pharma, in an article called Networked Pharma, by Jennifer Coe of Datamonitor, which discussed “innovative strategies to overcome margin deterioration.” I cited the passage above in that issue’s From the Editor page, as I argued that “economies of scale” shouldn’t be a compelling reason for $10+ billion companies to acquire $8 billion companies.

A month later, Pfizer bought Pharmacia for $60 billion.

Almost seven years later, the industry is still experiencing that productivity crisis. And Pfizer just bid $68 billion for Wyeth.

I admit that I was naïve in the ways of business and industry back in 2002, but I have to say that my opinions on mega-mergers haven’t changed much. As I wrote then:

My problem with mega-mergers is that, after the pipeline has been temporarily sated (although it remains to be seen whether the original problems with the pipeline are going to crop up again), the buying company is left to integrate tens of thousands of workers, reprioritize drugs in development by both firms, and meet unrealistic sales and savings projections. Typically, this last part is only accomplished by jettisoning a portion of those thousands of workers, creating more short-term disarray.

Sure, it’s possible that the Pharmacia deal would have worked out for Pfizer had Cox-2 inhibitors (like Celebrex and Bextra) not been hammered by Merck’s Vioxx withdrawal, but we can’t prove a counterfactual.

So now, as every major pharma company is slimming down, reducing salesforce, closing or selling off manufacturing sites and shuttering labs, the industry’s biggest player is doubling down by acquiring a competitor that has strengths in small molecule R&D, vaccines/biologics and consumer health, but also faces patent expirations and an R&D slowdown of its own.

There’s been plenty of speculation from analysts and industry figures as to why Pfizer chose to pursue this type of deal, rather than going after small biopharmas and tech-based startups. Is it for the R&D model, the current revenues, the vaccines, the lower-margin-but-more-consistent consumer business? Is it to achieve even greater size? Frankly, I can’t see much value in being able to say, “We’re #1!” at a time when “too big to fail” has become an epithet.

In the acquisition announcement, Pfizer stated, “It is expected that no drug will account for more than 10% of the combined company’s revenue in 2012.” Given that Lipitor, which currently accounts for 25% of Pfizer’s sales, will be falling off the board by 2011, it’s possible they could have achieved this goal without adding Wyeth’s roster of products.

A lot of things have changed since 2002, but I still think that mega-consolidation — in any industry — rapidly transitions from “too big to fail” to “too big to succeed.”

—Gil Y. Roth

ENGLISH! DO YOU SPEAK IT?

I had to read several paragraphs into this press release —

merckkgabio

— before I realized that Merck KGaA’s bio-unit was not actually planning to exit San Diego.

Go fish

Michael Lewis’s cogent writing and commentary on the subprime collapse and the attendant economic meltdown are in huge demand. I’m reading Liar’s Poker, his book about working at Salomon Brothers in the mid-’80s, at present. I’m just at the point where the market for mortgage bonds is blowing through the roof. Written in 1989, it’s scarily prescient.

This weekend, I also read Mr. Lewis’ new Vanity Fair article/travelogue on the financial collapse in Iceland. I enjoyed that plenty, even though it was vague on the chain of events in 2003 that led to Iceland’s push into the world financial market. Still, it combines a history of the financial explosion (after that moment) with some entertaining observations about Iceland and its insular natives:

A nation so tiny and homogeneous that everyone in it knows pretty much everyone else is so fundamentally different from what one thinks of when one hears the word “nation” that it almost requires a new classification. Really, it’s less a nation than one big extended family. For instance, most Icelanders are by default members of the Lutheran Church. If they want to stop being Lutherans they must write to the government and quit; on the other hand, if they fill out a form, they can start their own cult and receive a subsidy. Another example: the Reykjavík phone book lists everyone by his first name, as there are only about nine surnames in Iceland, and they are derived by prefixing the father’s name to “son” or “dottir.” It’s hard to see how this clarifies matters, as there seem to be only about nine first names in Iceland, too. But if you wish to reveal how little you know about Iceland, you need merely refer to someone named Siggor Sigfusson as “Mr. Sigfusson,” or Kristin Petursdottir as “Ms. Petursdottir.” At any rate, everyone in a conversation is just meant to know whomever you’re talking about, so you never hear anyone ask, “Which Siggor do you mean?”

Go give it a read. And bully for Mr. Lewis! It’s nice to know that someone besides John Paulson is making a killing right now.