We got hats now!

For years, one of my favorite trade-show goodie-scores was a baseball cap from the legal firm of Morrison & Foerster, because it featured the company’s abbreviated name: mofo.

I lost the hat during my drive down the Pacific Coast Highway in a convertible in 2004, heading from San Fran to San Diego. I was peeved, especially because I lost the hat a moment after passing a warning sign about high winds.

Now, at last, I have a replacement. And it’s all thanks to the architectural firm of Hooker and Cockram.

Who’s Buried In Grant’s Tome?

I discovered With Nails: The Film Diaries of Richard E. Grant in 1998, as I was walking through a Borders bookstore in a mall. The book was on the New Releases table and its cover — the grimacing face of one of my favorite actors, framed by a cardboard box — caught my eye.

I picked up the hardcover and flipped to the table of contents. It was organized (mostly) by movie, and included a chapter about my favorite bad film, Hudson Hawk. I was tempted to pick it up, but $24.95 was a little steep for me back then. I thought, “I’ll wait for it to get on the best-seller list, then pick it up on discount from Amazon.” [Remember: this is 1998, before Amazon started dropping prices on everydarnbook in stock.]

During the drive home, I thought, “You idiot! That’s book’s never going to become a best-seller! It’s the film diaries of Richard E. Grant, ferchrissakes!”

So, a few days later, I bought a copy at the Montclair Book Center (at a modest 10% discount), and proceeded not to read it for nearly a decade.

Now, it’s not as if I lay down books like bottles of wine, waiting for a maturation process before I ingest them. It’s more to do with a combination of laziness and that whole “worlds enough” business.

During this past summer (technically, it still is summer, but the 40-degree overnight temps last week have put that season to bed), we caught an installment of Higher Definition in which Robert Wilonsky interviewed Grant about his directorial debut, Wah-Wah, a semi-autobiographical take on Grant’s childhood in Swaziland during the British handover.

We thought the movie sounded good, and wanted to go see it, but discovered that it had the most eclectically limited distribution of all time. Each Friday, we’d hit the Showtimes link on its IMDB page, to discover that it was only playing in five far-flung theaters that week: Cedar Rapids, Logan, Bangor, Bismarck and Mineola. The closest it came to NY/NJ was about 3 hours’ drive away. We started to joke about just which out-of-the-way cities it was going to appear in.

As it turned out, the Higher Def episode was a rerun from a month or so earlier, and the film actually HAD shown in Jersey (Montclair, naturally) in May. We’ll wait for video.

During that interview, I mentioned to Amy that I had With Nails downstairs in the library. “Of course you do, darling. He’s your boyfriend,” she said. I didn’t try to argue. She took a break from Don Quixote and granted Grant a chance.

For the next several nights, while we read before turning in, I noticed her trying to suppress her laughter. “Anything I should know about?” I asked the first time.

“You have to read this book,” she told me.

Having recently cleared my slate of snooty-pants highbrow books, I finally read With Nails last week, and she’s right; it’s impossibly entertaining. The main reason for this is Grant’s charming naivete at being ‘Swaz Boy In Hollywood’, but there’s also something special about the era in which it begins (1985). Grant recalls numerous auditions and social occasions where he’s crisscrossing with Branagh, Nighy, Day Lewis, Oldman, Roth, That Other Grant, and other British actors who are busting out in their own careers. When he gets to Hollywood, it’s at the peak of the Guber/Peters era, as budgets first began blowing through the roof.

There are great behind-the-scenes stories of how films can go disastrously wrong (along with a pretty clear illustration of why Pret-a-Porter sucked), and then there’s the absolute epic of how messed up the Hudson Hawk shoot was (it’s the biggest chapter in the book). I can’t begin to convey the mind-blowingness of those anecdotes, which culminated in him and Sandra Bernhard clinging to each other for an island of sanity. Try to wrap yer mind around THAT concept, dear reader.

(Bonus: from his description of the accommodations during the Budapest stage of the shoot, it appears he stayed in the same place I did during my trip there two years ago. Also, from his description of the horrors of those accommodations, it appears the country made some major strides from 1990 to 2004.)

While Grant comes off as a sweet, wide-eyed guy in this book, he doesn’t pull punches with some of his characterizations. Steve Martin, for example, comes off as a good-hearted man who is All Business, contradictory as that may seem. And Grant’s Barbra Streisand story needs to be read to be believed. I mean, it’s tough to believe he’s heterosexual after that one, but hey.

He also takes name-dropping to a new level, but never in the “Saw DeNiro at NoBu last night, AGAIN: yawn” mode. He seems genuinely thrilled about meeting many of his idols, and his description of meeting Tom Waits is perfect:

Everyone else is in smatterings of designer casuals. Mistah Waits arrives straight off an old record cover in a ’64 open-topped Cadillac, with fins, with a funnel of dust trailing down the dirt road. The gravel voice gets out some howdy-doodys and his clothes and hair are crumple-sculpted to him. Doesn’t seem to have a straight bone in his bearing and kills me off with his cool by growing out a compliment for Withnail & I. Out the side of his mouth. Like we might be being spied on by the bailiffs. Him, rolling tobacco and reefer. Winona and I are “We’ve got all your recordings, Tom!!” To which he just heh-hehs.

I’m still undecided about how the arc of the book makes me feel: it covers the career that begins with Withnail & I — which gains him massive amounts of praise and launches him to Hollywood — before moving to a sequence of films directed by some of our finest directors — Altman, Coppola, and Scorsese — and ends with him shooting Spice World. Of course, it’s better than the alternative of not working.

And we do have those Wah-Wah diaries to look forward to.

It’s the end of the world and all of western civilization

I got my breakfast (black coffee and a blueberry muffin) at a truck-stop Dunkin Donuts on the way to my office. As I was walking out, I passed a woman. She was in her early 40s, not quite haggardly thin, with dark hair and a face pockmarked like Sadie Burke. She carried a canvas purse and a pack of cigarettes.

She stepped past me to a man sitting at a table and asked in a thin voice, “Are you going west?”

“No,” he said. “Where you headed?”

“California.”

Hag and Mope

Official VM buddy linked to this site as part of his entertaining and unofficial guide to the annual Comic Con in San Diego. He linked here in reference to a couple of drawings by Jaime Hernandez that I bought at Cons past. I won’t be at this year’s, but if I were to go, I’d see if Jaime had any drawings for sale of Ray D., Doyle and Speedy, to balance the three drawings of his women that I own.

Without further ado, here are two of those drawings. I never got around to scanning my Penny Century drawing, but it’s a wonderful illo.

I wrote a bunch of posts last year from the Con, with plenty of pix and wacky observations. Here’s a list:

July 15: Walking, Talking, Gawking

July 15: One More Thing

July 16: Rise of the Imperfects

July 19: Pic-Shas (includes some other San Diego stuff)

Always with the pictures

Just downloaded the pix from my digital camera!

Snaps from our stay in Healdsburg, CA (near Sonoma)

We drove through Monterey and the 17-Mile Drive in Pebble Beach.

Then we spent two nights in Big Sur.

I’ll write all about it soon. We’re still cleaning up the house, getting food-shopping done, writing thank-you cards, and all that post-wedding/post-trip stuff. And gazing blissfully into each other’s eyes, which makes it tough to type.

Honeymoonin’

Flew to San Francisco last night, via Houston, picked up our rental, and drove on up to Sonoma. For our first dinner as husband and wife, we stopped at the In-N-Out Burger on 101 north of SF.

Now we’re staying in an artsy villa with a really weak wireless connection for the laptop. After the stress of the last few weeks (more work-related than wedding-related), it’s nice to be able to relax and not have to be anywhere. It was wonderful to have so many of our friends and so much of our family together for the weekend, but it’s serious sigh-of-relief time right about now.

Pic-shas!

Here they are: The promised pix of Saturday and a little of Sunday in San Diego! Our buddies Ian & Jess took us around to the west side of the San Diego bay on Saturday. The weather was lovely as usual, but it was a hazy day, so my panoramic shots kinda suck. Enjoy!

The official VM fiancee introduces us to the In-N-Out Burger that she’s about to chomp!

The sub base.

The airstrip at Naval Base Coronado.

The military cemetery where we were taking pix. I was afraid they’d come back as zombies and, since they were military, they’d be pretty regimented and not as ragged as zombie-irregulars.

Just a nice tree in the cemetery.

Jess & Ian, my buddies in SD, who were doubling as tour-guides for the afternoon.

Here’s a tide pool on the other side of the peninsula.

Same thing. I just like the organicness of the terrain.

On our walk over to the tidal pool.

TIDEPOOLTIDEPOOLTIDEPOOL!

Bonus surfing picture for longtime VM reader Elayne!

The view of the bay from that Cabrillo National Monument park I mentioned a few days ago.

Same thing. Sue me.

A statue of Cabrillo himself!

Strong jaw on that dude. He’s no Communist Superman or anything, but he still seems pretty bold.

On Sunday morning, we headed back to the Con. This guy was waiting for us, as was Ray Harryhausen.

The pic you were waiting for: It’s Enigma! He’s tattooed like a jigsaw puzzle! He has horns implanted under his skin! Embarrassingly, my hip friends have no idea who this guy is, which means I am a freak.

You can decide: