I’m not a gamer. This isn’t because I think video games are beneath me, but because if I had a game console I would play obsessively and ruin my life. The only console I’ve owned was a Sega DreamCast that was a hand-me-down from my dad. I played NBA2K on it for a while, but it wasn’t as much fun as when I used to hang out at my buddy Sang’s place and play our customized version of the New Jersey Nets: the backcourt was comprised of me and Sang, and the frontcourt featured souped up versions of Dr. J, Buck Williams and Sam Bowie.
I’ve avoided the game craze for years, but a couple of recent discoveries may tip me over the edge.
First, I found out that the new Superman Returns video game includes the ability to play as Bizarro Superman, wrecking as much of Metropolis as you can before the big blue guy shows up to stop you. As longtime readers know, I’m a huge fan of Bizarro. I’m hoping the game is successful enough to spawn a video game set on Bizarro’s home world, a square planet where everything is backwards.
As if that weren’t enough, I saw a commercial this weekend for a video game based on my second favorite character: the King.
No, not Elvis; it’s that Burger King mascot, and his surreal episodes of delivering BK fare to an unsuspecting populace. I first gained respect for the King when he got into those NFL commercials, making interceptions and high-stepping it into the end zone. There was something about that eternally grinning mask, that Guy Fawkes of fast food vibe, that caught me.
So I ask you: Bizarro Superman and the King? Can a man resist?
Fortunately, they’re only on Xbox, and I don’t wanna give Gates, Ballmer, et al. my money . . .