Before I left for Nashville yesterday morning, I said to myself, “Don’t bring the camera. You’re not going out anywhere in the evening after the conference, and it’d just be one more thing to account for.”
Now it’s obvious that I was a jet-lagged wreck. How could I have failed to bring the one device that would provide irrefutable evidence that this resort/hotel/conference center is in fact Cracker Disney? Why hadn’t I looked at the site’s own description?
Under majestic, climate-controlled glass atriums, you’ll be surrounded by nine acres of lush indoor gardens, winding rivers and pathways, and sparkling waterfalls where you can unwind, explore, shop, dine, and be entertained to your heart’s content. Highlights include a 44-foot waterfall, laser-light and fountain shows, and tours aboard our Delta Flatboats – right inside the hotel.
and thought, “There needs to be a visual narrative for this”? You, dear reader, can only take my word for it that the entry gates to this majestic edifice are flanked by Cracker Barrel and Shoney’s.
Moreover, even my coworkers don’t believe that, while my hotel room does possesss a king-sized bed, that bed is actually a Murphy bed, mounted into the wall and made to look like an armoire! I’m not inclined to chalk that up to anything particularly “southron” so much as flat-out surreal. You’ll have to keep a picture in your mind’s eyes of that horrible realization that my bed was hidden away vertically, followed by a Poe-like scene in which I was nearly crushed by the descent of said bed.
Oh, with the regrets, dear reader. I’ll try to make it up to you with a field trip to Cracker Barrel before I leave.