Little Fluffy Tight Ends?

I feel kinda bad that I stopped paying attention to Hurricane Ike once it took New Orleans and environs off its itinerary. Sure, the people of Houston and its environs have plenty to worry about, but hey.

In fact, Ike’s change of path may have an added benefit! In addition to an election season where we have our first sorta black presidential candidate and our second female vice presidential candidate, Ike may have revealed to us the first out gay player in the NFL!

The Houston Texans, concerned about the timing of Ike’s landfall, have pushed their home game against the Ravens from Sunday afternoon to Monday evening and rescheduled practices to allow players and office staff to take care of their families. But buried in the middle of the article is this paragraph:

Texans tight end Owen Daniels said the hurricane isn’t a distraction and is a bit intrigued at the prospect of going through one. He has a degree in atmospheric and oceanic sciences and hopes to be a television weatherman one day.

Far be it from me to stereotype an entire profession, but I think it’s pretty clear that all television weathermen are gay. (Don’t believe me?) Every single one of them. (Especially him.) I’m not sure why that is, but it adds some color to the local news, I guess.

Now, I may be wrong; maybe Mr. Daniels wasn’t speaking in lightly veiled code about his sexual preferences. Still, I hope he embraces this role in bridging the hypermacho NFL and the hypergay weathercasting worlds.

(And I hope that Houston doesn’t get pasted too badly by the storm. Good luck!)

Maybe his brother can suit up!

I’m kinda astonished that the NFL season starts tomorrow night. I figure I’ll order up some pizza on the way home from Amy’s train and watch the Giants begin their defense of the champi —

— oh, who am I kidding? The Giants could go 3-13 this year and I won’t care! They beat the Patriots in the Superbowl and derailed The Perfect Season!

Anyway, I was just clicking around on ESPN.com and noticed that Baltimore’s starting QB Kyle Boller last year is gone for the season. I wondered who’s going to start for new head coach John Harbaugh, and I read the following sentence:

Boller entered the preseason competing for the starting job with Troy Smith and top draft pick Joe Flacco, who ultimately won the job because of Boller’s injury and Smith’s lengthy battle with infected tonsils.

So that means that Baltimore is starting a QB because one of his competitors wrecked his shoulder and the other got tonsilitis.

I know this team won a Superbowl with Trent Dilfer at QB (beating the Giants), but I have a feeling the Ravens fans will be covering their eyes and saying, “Nevermore!” a week or two into the season.