Author: Gil

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Springboks Supreme

I watched the finals of the Rugby World Cup this afternoon, and was disappointed to see South Africa’s Springboks knock off England 15-6, esp. after a British try that got overturned by the blind video-judge. Considering South Africa blanked England 36-0 earlier in the tournament, I guess this loss could be considered a little more palatable, particularly since England got to defeat France to get to this point.

I’m not sure why I was rooting against South Africa. Maybe it was an apartheid hangover, maybe it was because they tried to kill Joe Pesci in that Lethal Weapon movie. Or maybe it was the Aryan weirdness and unmoving hair of Percy Montgomery.

Amy & I never did get around to figuring out all the rules, but the games we watched here and in Milan were pretty entertaining. As a contrast, I also got to attend the Jets/Giants game a few Sundays ago, and that got me to thinking about the rugby vs. U.S. football debate. (Here’s a slideshow from that game, tickets courtesy of my buddy Jon-Eric.)

When I was in New Zealand in 2003, some of the antipodeans goofed on me because NFL players wear pads, while rugby players are, um, unprotected (and adventuresome!). I pointed out that NFL linemen are probably 6-10 inches taller than rugby players, a hundred lbs. heavier, and only a step or so slower. Or, as official VM buddy Tom Spurgeon put it, “Would your rather crash full speed into a wall on your bicycle or in a car?”

Anyway, having watched a few matches, I can see that top rugby players are in better shape than NFL players, since there’s really no break in the action (I think halftime is only 10 minutes long), very few substitutions, and lots of ugly hits that these guys keep managing to get up from.

For me, that was a big factor that made rugby fun to watch: no one takes a dive. One guy went down during this match, and the medico ran over to treat him while the game kept going on. There’s none of the flopping that characterizes soccer (and now the NBA), none of the “I’ll never walk again” writhing that ends 15 seconds later with the player getting up and running downfield.

Of course, most of the rugby players also have cauliflower ears, swollen brows, and cognitive impairment, but I’m pretty sure that last one was what led them into rugby to begin with.

* * *

Virtual Memories bonus! When I visited New Zealand (see enormous slideshow), my flight into Auckland landed the morning after the finals of the 2003 Rugby World Cup. The pilot spent a good five minutes describing the action from the game, in which England beat Australia in overtime. After 12 hours in the air (this followed a 6-hour flight from EWR to LAX), I wasn’t exactly in the mood for the George Michael Sports Machine, but he made it entertaining while we taxi’d to the gate.

Days later, on a Saturday morning, we cruised along in our tour bus. I watched the countryside and small towns roll by, and then I saw something that I never bothered to share with anyone. In the front yard of a house, at 8 o’clock in the morning, a kid (he had to be under 10) was marching back and forth carrying a large sign that read, “POMMY RUGBY IS BORING!”

I can only assume the kid lost a bet on the finals.

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NBA Preview: The Warnening!

The annual Virtual Memories NBA Preview will post next week! It promises to be filled with inscrutable cultural references, obscure free-agent details, and predictions that stand no chance of coming true! You’ve been warned!

To tide you over, here’s a photo I just received as part of an e-mail from Ticketmaster. I’m on their Knicks mailing list because I took a client/buddy to one of their games last spring.

I’m not sure what’s funnier:

a) the sheer ugliness of (l-r) Zack Randolph, Jamal Crawford and Eddy Curry, or

b) Stephon “Are you getting in, or not?” Marbury’s, um, ball-handling skills.

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“Then the hostess’s dog attacked me, so I had to stab it.”

Evidently, the role of my GP is being played by Dr. Spaceman (“That’s spi-CHEM-in!”). While I was getting treated for a sinus infection earlier this week, my doctor looked over my file and asked, “We prescribed some Ambien for you on your last visit. How’s that working?”

I replied, “Pretty well, but sometimes it doesn’t do a thing, so I lie there unable to sleep and pissed off at Sanofi-Aventis.”

“Well, have you tried taking two at a time?” he asked.

“What? NO!” I replied.

He proceeded to tell me that taking two of the 6.25mg doses was “just like” taking one of the higher dose, 12.5mg.

Later, when he asked about drug allergies, I expected him to say, “What can you do? Medicine’s not a science!”

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Black Unmagic

Back in July, I asked if my wife & I are the only two white people to watch two Tyler Perry movies all the way through. Maybe we’re easily entertained, but we enjoyed the flicks: there was a sorta non-Hollywood-ness about them (even if most of the male leads were model-types), an earnestness that doesn’t come off as laughable (which is pretty rare nowadays). Sure, many of the characters are devoutly Christian, but their faith doesn’t lead to miracles and perfect solutions to all problems. Oh, and Madea and her brother Joe are hysterical, allowing Perry managed to keep up the Flip Wilson tradition of black men playing drag and the more recent Eddie Murphy tradition of playing multiple characters in the same scene.

Nobody commented on my post (sigh), but the release of Perry’s third movie has mooted the question; it doesn’t matter if any white people see his movies, because there are a ton of black people who have made him Hollywood gold. Why Did I Get Married? took in almost $22 million in its opening weekend, doubling up the sales from George Clooney’s well-reviewed new movie about, um, the evils of Monsanto (I think).

My favorite part of the Perry story is how he “came out of nowhere.” Salon ran an article that includes a great anecdote about what happened when Perry’s agent approached a Hollywood studio. No one had any idea who Perry was, despite his stage success among black audiences:

What shocked Hollywood insiders [after Diary of a Mad Black Woman] was how Perry seemed to come out of nowhere. In the wake of the “Diary” success, the Hollywood trade paper Variety wrote a story that led off, “Tyler who?” [Lions Gate studio head of production Michael Paseornek] had been asking himself the same question a year before, after he received a letter from Perry’s agent, talking about a guy who wrote plays for African-American audiences on the “chitlin circuit,” a name that goes back to Jim Crow days, when African-Americans were banned from mainstream auditoriums. Nowadays, Perry’s plays regularly sell out major venues such as New York’s Beacon Theater and the Kodak Theatre in Los Angeles, where the Oscars are held, and in the last eight years, they’ve grossed more than $100 million through ticket sales and DVDs of live performances sold through his Web site.

“It was an astronomical number for someone I’d never heard of,” Paseornek recalls, “so I called around to other people in showbiz, and they hadn’t heard of him either.”

But those people were white. Paseornek got his first insight into the Perry phenomenon when he walked down the hall to the Lions Gate inventory control department, to talk to an African-American employee named Kenya Watson. “She said, ‘Sure, I’ve heard of Tyler Perry,'” he recalls. “‘I own all his DVDs. Whenever we have a cookout, we put one on.'”

In yesterday’s Washington Post, Eugene Robinson has a nice opinion piece about the Perry phenomenon, and how refreshing it is to see something other than the “magic negro,” whose role is to explain life to white people.

You know me: I may love me some failure, but I also love success that flies under the mainstream radar.

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Yucky promotions

I think Wal-Mart’s “Hot Release Tuesday” may be the grossest name ever for a promotion, but today actually sees a couple of releases that I’m enthused about:

War and Peace – A new Tolstoy translation by Pevear & Volokhonsky! This pair jump-started the wave of new translations of the Russians with their 1990 edition of Dostoevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov, the hardcover of which was the most expensive novel I ever bought (as far as I can recall)! Here’s a short essay from Richard Pevear on how he and his partner Larissa work.

Oblivion with Bells – A new record from Underworld! My wife better stock up on Lamictal or some other anti-epileptic drug, since those beats tend to mess with her head pretty badly.

Schulz and Peanuts – David Michaelis’ biography of Charles Schulz will likely be the first bio I read since David Guralnick’s treatment of Sam Cooke, proving that I have some pretty odd tastes, I guess.

I thought I’d try to make this a regular feature, but I discovered that

  1. I couldn’t come up with a single DVD release that would make this list, as I have no interest in Transformers, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip or A Mighty Heart, which convinced me that
  2. there aren’t enough new books, records, movies coming out each Tuesday that interest me.

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More cold war relics

In keeping with the previous post on Norman Mailer’s gnostic wackiness, I should probably also relegate Ben Stein to “relic of the cold war” status, but he seems to have adjusted pretty well to the modern age, and offers some pretty good life & investment advice in his most recent column in the NYTimes:

GET A BIG DOG And have that dog sleep in your bed with you. Dogs know nothing of mortality, and they share that peace with you.

INVEST FOR THE LONG HAUL If you are a smart long-term investor, do not pay any attention to short-term developments. They are often reported by people whose motivation may be to scare you (screaming about the subprime “crisis”) or to make you giddily greedy (screaming about that one certain stock you should buy to retire rich).

On the other hand, Terry Eagleton comes off as a Marxist douchebag.