The Living Thank You, Too!

Happy Day of the Dead, all you zombies and zombettes!

To commemorate the event, I was too exhausted this morning to write up more NBA previews, so the next update will be this evening. But I decided to make this blog easier for readers who don’t give a crap about the NBA (and the humorous takes Tom Spurgeon & I provide) by moving the hoops previews to a separate page!

So head over to the Official VM NBA Preview page to check out the new postings, and come back here for my other wacky ruminations. I promise to get a good Unrequired Reading together tomorrow morning!

USA Tomorrow?

One of the aspects of This Travelin’ Life that I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned is the complimentary copies of USA Today that hotels distribute. While it’s not a paper I read under typical circumstances, it’s kinda comforting to find the issue waiting outside my door when I head out for breakfast during these trade show trips. This morning, I took my copy down with me and read it over migas and coffee. Lots of coffee.

The lead article in today’s Life section was “Mainline pulls in Protestants,” discussing a trend that may or may not be occurring among christians. I wasn’t interested in reading it until I noticed the headline for the story on its second-page jump: “Like television, religion is now ‘highly fragmented'”.

Those editors sure know how to get my attention.

This almost got trumped by the two articles on page 2 of the business section: “Flat wages, rising key prices a double whammy” and “After trailing inflation, wages rise at fastest rate since 2004.”

Fortunately, the absurdities and contradictions of USA Today’s headline writers was beaten by a giant ad in the News section:

How To Be $1,835,360 Richer
Win 95.12% Of All Trades
And Still Lose Nothing . . .
Even If You’re Absolutely 100% Wrong

On the plus side, the paper did tell me that PW Botha died.

The conference wraps up today, and I’ll be flying back into Newark Airport tonight. Which airport is that? Oh, you know: the one where they had a 90% failure rate in finding knives & explosives in check-in bags during a test, where two jets just “bumped wings” on the taxiway, and where an incoming plane from Orlando landed on the taxiway instead of the runway.

Oh, and I’ll be flying to Orlando next week.

One of the side-effects is that it makes you sound like a self-absorbed douchebag

It seems that some people in the military are not fans of the mandatory anthrax vaccine (AVA):

U.S. Air Force Judge Advocate Captain Kelli Donley developed Idiopathic Spinal Cerebellar Ataxia after receiving the AVA anthrax vaccine. The disease impaired her brain function and motor skills, a U.S. Air Force Medical Evaluation Board (“Board”) found. She retired in April of 2006 after the Board granted her a 100 percent disability because she could not practice law or perform tasks requiring high cognitive function or demanding speech.

“Before receiving the anthrax vaccine, I was perfectly healthy and in good shape. Now, I talk with slurred speech, I have trouble walking, and I stopped seeing those seeking legal assistance because their legal issues paled in comparison to mine,” said Donley.

Yellow rose, etc.

Walking through the gate into the airport terminal, I realized that this is my 4th visit to San Antonio: 3 pharma conferences and 1 car wash industry event (I got my start on a magazine called Auto Laundry News).

I’ve been through a bunch of airports large and small in the last 10 years. Sometimes I don’t remember a lot about them. I didn’t recall anything about San Antonio until I started walking down the long hallway to the baggage claim and ground transport (I was looking for the latter, since I had everything in my carry-on). It was then that I thought, “Oh, yeah! They had that game room with the Addams’ Family pinball machine!”

And, lo and behold, what was in the next doorway to my right? Showtime! Well, not exactly, since it was 11pm and I was too exhausted from the 4 hours in the air, 3 hours in the airport, and the hour or so I’d spent sawing trees and hauling lumber that day.

But it was reassuring to see the machine there.

The flight wasn’t eventful. Most of us were on the way to the conference. When I walked back up the cabin from the bathroom, just about all the laptops I saw open displayed the logos of various drug companies. The woman next to me worked for a French company that handles pharma packaging (glass containers). Her name was Pascaline. I only mention her because I love the name.

I read and listened to music for most of the flight. The guy across the aisle from me was reading, but he didn’t have any music. What he had was a book with the title, The Way Of The Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Woman, Work, and Sexual Desire. I only mention this because of the title of chapter 16: “Women Are Not Liars.”

Go figure. I read about half of that Portis novel, Gringos.

The first day of the show’s done. There are a bunch of hospitality events going on; I’ve been invited to a couple of dinners and other get-togethers. This is usually a good opportunity to get wrecked on someone else’s dime, but I’m feeling pretty tired just now. I might just take the night off, scare up some room service, watch Monday Night Football, and get back to that novel.

Or I’ll be table-dancing to Thunderstruck at a bar on the Riverwalk. I’ll letcha know.

Goings On

Amy’s thinking of getting a Mini Cooper, so I took a look at them yesterday while she was getting her hair cut. They’re awfully neat cars and, if I wasn’t opposed to owning a car from a German company, I’d look at getting one for myself. Alas.

We got home and caught up with Sabrina (1954) and The 40-Year-Old Virgin, which remains the funniest movie I’ve seen this decade. I’d never seen Sabrina, and my only point of reference was hearing Mike & the Mad Dog decry the old version in favor of the contemporary edition. When one of them declared that Audrey Hepburn wasn’t that pretty, it became clear to me that all sports radio hosts are actually gay. In between movies, Amy put together an “avocado et crevettes” dish for me, similar to the one we had in Paris. Love is wonderful.

What’s not wonderful is the idea of a musical based on Bob Dylan’s songs. We caught a clip of “The Times They Are A-Changin’,” the, um, Bob Dylan musical. On Broadway. No, seriously. It was on The Soup, and Amy & I just stared agog, like Beavis & Butthead during a bad video.

Fortunately, one of my favorite writers, David Gates, went to see the show, and wrote a column about it for Newsweek. He was even more perplexed than we were.

In other news, I’m headed off to San Antonio tonight for a pharma conference. This’ll be followed by a trip to Orlando next Sunday for another one, but that oughtta wrap up my business travel for the year, unless I make a short trip up to Toronto to visit some clients.

Starting tomorrow, if all goes well (as in, we get everything written and I’m able to get online at the hotel), I’ll begin posting the third annual Virtual Memories NBA Preview! Official VM bestest buddy Tom Spurgeon & I have divvied up the 30 squads and will be offering our jaundiced take on the NBA (with a couple of guest-contributors).

In honor of that, I present the man who got me to watch pro hoops regularly, when I was 14 or so: Patrick Ewing.

Unrequired Reading: Oct 27, 2006

A friend of mine recently brought up how “the West has lied,” failing to keep its “never again” promise after Rwanda. I mentioned that, just as anti-genocide forces learned from Rwanda, we should remember that groups that plan to commit genocide also learned lessons from what happened in Rwanda (and other massacres).

A former assistant secretary of state thinks the world’s approach to the genocide in Darfur isn’t helping any:

When pressure is applied to the Sudanese government, there is always the perceived sense, much as there was in Vietnam, that just a little more and Khartoum will cave. Perhaps. But Bashir, admittedly no Ho Chi Minh, is sitting on growing oil revenue, and he can see that the international community is divided and that the demands for more aggressive action are going nowhere.

Moreover, many measures the advocates demand for bringing pressure on Bashir, such as targeted sanctions, an investigation of Sudan’s business holdings or a threat of action by the International Criminal Court, hardly meet the standard of urgency, however much these things may be worth doing.

* * *

It turns out that the solution to U.S. oil independence may come from Nazi Germany and Apartheid South Africa.

* * *

Theodore Dalrymple reviews Ian Buruma’s new book on the murder of Theo Van Gogh (and all that it may or may not signify):

[Van Gogh] thought he was a licensed jester. His ability to shock depended, of course, upon the persistence in Dutch society of the Calvinist mentality of purse-lipped moralism, now as frequently employed against those who dare suggest that the rank, and deeply ideological, hedonism of Amsterdam is not only unattractive but morally reprehensible as against those, such as fornicators, traditionally regarded as sinners. Scratch a Dutch liberal, and you will find a Calvinist moralist not far beneath the surface.

This Calvinism, however, was tolerant to the extent that it did not prescribe slaughter in the streets for those deemed to have insulted it. Its worst sanction was disapproval — precisely what Van Gogh sought. Van Gogh hid under so many layers of rather crude irony that it became impossible to know what he really believed, if anything; and it was beyond his comprehension that anyone would take anything so seriously, or perhaps literally is a better word, as to kill for it.

* * *

China plans to become the world’s R&D hub. I don’t believe it’s going to happen, for reasons that are so full of racist stereotypes that I am both embarrassed to recount them and fully convinced that they will apply in spades. (Which is to say, their best-known invention is more Chinese people, and their best-known export is SARS.)

* * *

I was wrong about the Cardinals getting destroyed by the Tigers in the World Series. But that doesn’t change the fact that I love Tigers’ manager Jim Leyland, not least because of his inability to quit smoking. Which is fantastic. Not the inability. Smoking.

He was being interviewed by then-ESPNer Chris Myers, who was asking him about his well-publicized tendency to smoke cigarettes in the dugout. Leyland paused for a moment, put his head down and delivered the obligatory platitudes about how bad smoking is for you, how children should avoid smoking, how he knows it’s unhealthy. Then he looked directly into the camera, his eyes very wide, and said, “Still. Smokers out there, you know what I’m talking about. That moment, after you’ve had a huge meal, say at Thanksgiving, when you step outside in the cold, light up a cigarette and take a deep inhale … that’s about the best moment in the world, you know? All the smokers out there, you know that feeling. Sometimes, smoking is fantastic.” Myers quickly cut to commercial, and Leyland has never been on the show since.

* * *

A few weeks ago, while channel-surfing, Amy & I came across a documentary show on the Travel Channel. It featured John Ratzenberger exploring the history of stuff that’s Made In America. My first thought was, “John Ratzenberger gets work?”

Amy’s first thought was, “Seriously? Shouldn’t he be wearing a USPS uniform?”

Anyway, that episode chronicled the Maker’s Mark whiskey factory in Kentucky. Out of deference to my southern wife, we stayed with that segment. Here’s a BW piece on the issues Maker’s Mark faces in keeping up its quality as its market share grows. It’s an interesting story because, while the brand is owned by a larger group, it looks like there are very site-specific issues involved in making the stuff. (I don’t think this includes sourcing that red wax they use to seal the bottles, but you never know.)

Have a slide show, while you’re here.

* * *

I’m not only interested in the scaleup of whiskey manufacturing. I’m also interested in the massive infrastructure needed to run something like Google. So is George Gilder, who wrote this lengthy article about the subject. So next time you’re googling about whiskey, remember this blog.

* * *

Does the earth sing to itself? I have Frankie Goes To Hollywood’s ‘Welcome to the Pleasuredome’ on right now, so I can’t tell.

* * *

Speaking of music, Roy Blount, Jr. doesn’t like Bob Dylan’s music.

* * *

Like everyone else, New Orleans Times-Picayune columnist Chris Rose has had a rough time in the year-plus since Katrina:

I was receiving thousands of e-mails in reaction to my stories in the paper, and most of them were more accounts of death, destruction and despondency by people from around south Louisiana. I am pretty sure I possess the largest archive of personal Katrina stories, little histories that would break your heart.

I guess they broke mine.

I am an audience for other people’s pain. But I never considered seeking treatment. I was afraid that medication would alter my emotions to a point of insensitivity, lower my antenna to where I would no longer feel the acute grip that Katrina and the flood have on the city’s psyche.

I thought, I must bleed into the pages for my art. Talk about “embedded” journalism; this was the real deal.

He realized that wasn’t smart, and has a LONG column on how he now deals with his depression. You may want to take notes, since you will likely be mighty depressed by the end of this column.