Bicycle Thief, My Ass!

I watch a lot of professional basketball. During the years, I’ve followed the careers of some pretty, um, quirky (read: troubled) players:

Take Gary Trent, who reportedly would destroy all competition in practice (demoralizing Brian Grant, at one point), couldn’t function on court, and once beat on a friend with a cue-stick for accidentally setting off his burglar alarm;

Ruben Patterson, who would shut down Kobe Bryant on a regular basis in practice when he was on the Lakers, went 8-0 vs. LA when he went to Seattle as a free agent, and opened the sports world to the “modified Alford plea,” when he was on trial for the rape of the nanny of his kids (the plea evidently is a “no contest, but I admit that I’d likely be found guilty if this thing went to trial”);

and now, Keon Clark. I first saw Keon when he was a rookie with the Nuggets. My friend invited me to a Knicks game one Sunday night, and I saw this impossibly skinny pogo-stick of a man (who bears a strong resemblance to Delroy Lindo) throw down a putback dunk of unbelievable ferocity. I thought he had a serious future in the league.

Unfortunately, Keon got injured a bunch, showed no work ethic, and liked to get baked a lot, so he’s fallen off the radar in the league.

Except in Cleveland, where they’d like to bring him in as a backup center/power forward for next season, according to the Akron Beacon Journal. Problem is, it looks like they’re having trouble finding Keon. Sez the article: “The team is trying to locate free agent Keon Clark — a well-known free spirit and wanderer — who apparently is beyond the bounds of modern communication devices.”

Oh, but that’s not all the article sez. Seems Keon has other issues weighing on him, including this biggie:

“He’s also experienced some personal problems. His father was sentenced to 65 years in prison for murdering a friend in a fight over a bicycle in February.”

Just read that again.

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