Lost in the Supermarket: Dr. Jack edition

In Borgesian style, there are a bunch of Virtual Memories posts that were never written but sound truly awesome. Two of them involve cooking. One is a photo-essay of the time I prepared an MRE at home. We brought an MRE back from our first post-Katrina visit to Amy’s family in Louisiana. I remember sitting in her parents’ backyard, reading some F. Scott Fitzgerald while Amy & her mom were out. Her dad came out to ask me if I wanted to go out and get some lunch.

“Or we could stay here and have some MREs.”

“. . . You have MREs?”

They’d been given a couple of 24-pack cartons of them at a relief site after they returned home (they were smart enough to bug out before the storm hit). We decided to go out instead, but during the rest of that trip, enough of Amy’s relatives talked about their favorite MREs and the best ways of preparing some of their contents. We were intrigued enough to bring two home (Jambalaya and Cheese Tortellini) and try it out.

Why I never wrote about it, I don’t know. In fact, I’ll post the pix later this week and try to write it up just for you. (Remember, it was almost 4 years ago, so I probably won’t have much to say about the food itself. Still, the pix are pretty neat.)

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The other food-post I never wrote? The time I used a Jack Daniel’s Mesquite EZ Marinader to prepare a steak. (On a dare, natch.)

I imagine it would’ve gone a little something like Patton Oswalt’s review of the KFC Bowl.

I never thought anything would compare to the vileness of that “authentic smokey sweet flavor from mesquite wood, complemented with Jack Daniel’s® Tennessee Whiskey flavor and a special blend of spices,” but then I discovered I could “grill and chill with the rich, bold taste of Dr. Pepper®”!

Now, I’ve consumed a lot of questionable foods over the years, but even I wouldn’t go anywhere near this combo —

— because it’d likely dissolve my steak, knife, fork, plate, and dining-room table.

See the whole Lost in the Supermarket series!