I had an appointment with a cardiologist on Tuesday, to follow up on my symptoms from September. Looking over my EKG and checking my vitals, he seemed a little incredulous about my ER experience. I wondered if he suspected me of being an insurance investigator or something. He said that I was perfectly healthy, and supported my theory that the symptoms were a result of the stress-caffeine-anxiety axis. I’ve subsequently finished my two big stress-related activities, cut my daily caffeine consumption by around 45%, and am trying not to give a shit about little things.
(About the coffee: For the last few months, I was drinking 7 cups a day, and have cut that back to 4. I was drinking a 3-cup mug around 5:00 a.m., when Amy & I get up in the morning, a 2-cup mug of French press around 9:30 or 10 a.m., then another 2-cup French press at 2:00 p.m. The mid-morning once was the stress-related / stress-inducing one; I used to just drink the early morning and early afternoon ones, but found myself in the mid-morning routine as a result of “picking up something” on the way to the office. Starting the Monday after my ER experience, I cut the 5:00 a.m. mug to 2 cups, eliminated mid-morning, and retained the 2-cup 2:00 p.m. one. It’s my drug of choice, and I’m sure other people are just as exacting about their booze, cocaine, etc.)
Hearing about my family history of atherosclerosis (Dad and his far less obese brother both needed quintuple bypasses in their mid-60’s), the doctor wanted to perform a multifunction cardiogram (MCG). He left the exam room to check on my coverage, then came back to say, “It looks like your insurance doesn’t cover the test. I think you should have it, but it DOES cost $175 . . .”
“. . . And?” I said, reaching for my wallet.
“Well, you don’t have to pay for it all at once.”
“. . . No, that’s okay. I don’t mind,” taking out a credit card. A nurse took that and rang me up for it. I just spent $180 to get some Joost Swarte pictures framed, so I’d feel like a dolt if I complained that it cost too much to find out if I have early signs of arterial blockage.
The test went fine. It consists of a single electrode on the chest, plus 4 jumper-cable-style clamps on the wrists and ankles. The nurse reassured me that I wouldn’t get a shock from them. I had to lie still for 3 or 4 minutes, during which time I nearly fell asleep. That test, too, came back just fine.
The cardiologist and I made vague plans about a second date 6 months from now, and I drove home.
On the way, I noticed a bookstore. In suburban NJ (Hawthorne, in this instance), those stand out. Well Read was “New & Used,” which I feared meant a lending library of romance and James Patterson books, but I pulled over to check it out.
I was pleasantly surprised by the selection. Sure, no Anthony Powell or Richard Flanagan, but it had a non-pandering array of fiction, and some interesting selection on its comics shelf. Tthe YA section looked to be dominated by vampires, but hey.
I decided, “If they’re willing to keep a bookstore open in the suburbs in this day and age, they deserve my money.” I opened up the Amazon app on my phone and looked over my wish list to find something that I could buy. I was hoping they had Lucky Bruce
Eventually, I settled on The Finkler Question
Now that I know I’m “perfectly healthy,” how do I keep from falling back into time-wasting routines? How do I stay up after the wake-up call?
Whenever you’re feeling yourself getting stressed about something that doesn’t matter, look at that photo of yourself sitting in the ER looking miserable wearing that trendy hospital gown….and then laugh ;)