Category: Uncategorized

Picking up my mail this afternoon, I noticed a Pottery Barn catalog with the tagline, “NEW REDUCED DELIVERY CHARGES ON MORE THAN 65 ITEMS!”

My reaction? “Why, if I order more than 65 items from these jokers, I sure hope I would get reduced delivery charges!”

Then I thought about it a minute and, um, realized that they reduced the delivery charges on more than 65 individual items, not on orders of 65 items or more.

Man, I thought I had hangups about flying.

(Note: I was perfectly at ease with flying until a really rough takeoff on a flight to Phoenix in 2003. Since then, I’ve had varying degrees of jitters.)

Longtime readers know that I like me some failure. But I’m a failure when I measure up to Nathan Rabin. This guy has managed to review more than 100 movie-failures in a year. I’ve been following his My Year of Flops feature for a while, after he caught my attention with he skewered Hudson Hawk, my favorite terrible movie.

You should probably check out his afterword to the whole affair, and then wind your way through some of these amazing writeups. And make sure to spend some time with North. . .

My condolences to the family of Heath Ledger, who OD’d earlier today. When Amy first IM’d me about Ledger’s death just before I left the office, I wrote back, “Drugs? Car Accident?” When she said it was the former, I replied, “Retard.”

Once I got home, I checked out the story and it now looks like he committed suicide (subject to change). That got me wondering what’s worse:

1. the father of a two-year-old child deliberately OD’s, killing himself,
2. the father of a two-year-old child is so into getting high that he accidentally OD’s, killing himself.

I mean, the result is the same, right? Wealthy, good-looking actor leaves his daughter without a dad.

Tell me whatcha think.

There were two significant (and probably related) coffee announcements this week: McDonald’s plans to add coffee bars to its stores, and Starbucks founder and chairman Howard Schultz has taken back his CEO role. I don’t have a horse in this race, since I prefer Dunkin Donuts’ coffee (unless there’s a Tim Hortons around, of course), wouldn’t set foot in a McDonald’s for anything except a fry-fix, and can’t stand Starbucks’ actual coffee (y’know, the black stuff).

I’ve read a lot of commentary on these moves — check out Megan McCardle’s and Bill Conerly’s — but I think the most salient insights come from this conversation between Roast Beef and Ray:

ME: Tell me what you like most about Starbucks I mean I know you get coffee there.

RAY: The chicks who work there, dude! All tight black pants, smilin’, hell of took a shower lately . . .

ME: Now tell me what you remember about the McDonald’s worker chicks.

RAY: They . . . they get these weird little purple blotches on their faces, but they don’t seem to come to a head. And . . . and they got those flappy bellies that the company makes them tuck into their pants. Bellies that could hang into a sink, but not stick out above a sink. Wait, hold on a minute, man–

ME: Plus think about it Ray if they can’t even repeat NUMBER THREE, DIET COKE how they gonna do with a double venti short tall nonfat mocha no foam cappuccino with two ice cubes and a half shot of sugarfree vanilla for Mackenzie who by the way is a skinny woman in Versace sunglasses and not a fat Irish man in an Aran cable sweater holding a Guinness.

Now go read some Achewood. I’m gonna get me some DD and finish up that Jan/Feb ish.

Trying to find information on setting up college funds for my nieces, I came across this FAQ list that includes one of the greatest questions ever:

Misc. and Unusual Questions

1. I have heard about a scholarship for left-handed students. Can you tell me more information about it?

This question comes up frequently, because the popular press and scholarship matching services like to use it as an example of unusual scholarships.

The only scholarship for left-handed students is the Frederick and Mary F. Beckley Scholarship of up to $1,000. This scholarship is awarded to left-handed students who will be attending Juniata College. This scholarship is not available to students who aren’t enrolled at Juniata College. For more information, write to Office of Student Financial Planning, Juniata College, 1700 Moore Street, Huntington, PA 16652.

Of course, this led me to look for other bizarre scholarships. If I knew about this stuff, I wouldn’t have pretended to have Serbo-Croatian and Navajo parents when I filled out my financial aid application.

I knew that The King was a Burger Crip:

But that’s no reason for Ronald to start flashing gang symbols:

Man, this could lead to worse violence than the time Biggie got killed.

Happy 8th birthday to Liat, my co-favorite niece!

(Note: yes, the candles show that this picture is from her 7th birthday. I’m a total heel for being unable to attend her birthday party this year, but I promise to make it up to her this summer when she comes out to visit!)

I’m home sick today — and trying to pound out the Jan/Feb ish so we can get it printed and mailed in time for a conference a the end of the month — so instead of my belated new year’s ramblings, I give you. . . Sleeve Heads. Enjoy.

This

leads to this

leads to this

or, as WordPress measures it, this

And on a holiday, no less!

Thanks for setting a one-day traffic record for my blog, Instapundit! I hope some of these new readers stick around, even though they were exposed to one of my most esoteric and out-of-context posts (written a few days after I popped the question to Amy in 2005).

Of course, it’s not like I have any dream of reaching the level of Insta-traffic. . .